Inspirational Tools

Three Questions That Will Change Your Life

 

Are you ready to find the holy grail of question asking to know what you should do? Yes? Are You Sure?

Hehe those were three questions, but not the questions that will change your life.

As a coach, we are trained to have a tool box of tactics and engaging questions to get our clients to think beyond the known and go to the untapped vault of creativity and imagination. We guide people through the self-imposed and externally position stress and judgment to open their eyes to what could be possible.

See if what you were doing was working for you, you wouldn’t be reading this blog and you probably wouldn’t be seeking external expertise (P.S. You’re super smart for doing that. The most awesome, smartest people in the world have coaches). So I’m going to key you into the most awesome grouping of questions to get your future-self-brainpower going.

Ready?

You sure? Because things aren’t that bad. You know what to expect. You know what’s going to happen and how you need to show up to get a desired outcome. It’s safe there.

What’s that? You don’t want to be the same? You don’t want to keep being small? You’re ready to live large and all out?

Okay! You’re ready!

 

Here are the questions:

1)      What Do You Want?

2)      Why Do You Want It?

3)      What Would Be Different If You Had It?

 Ta-daaaaaaaa!

Answer those questions and make it happen. It’s that easy! If it’s not doable, you most likely have some blocks to success called GAILs (Gremlins, Assumptions, Interpretations, and Limiting Beliefs). These guys are within all of us and with the proper coping strategies and tactics to leverage them, you too can have the life you dreamed of!

Misreading The Inner Critic’s Messages

The last six months have been awesome. Amazing clients I’ve never met before are finding me. I’m creating solid and consistent content. My business is growing.

You would think I would be floating with excitement. But I didn't.

Immediately following a talk I gave about confidence, I felt the floor slowly drop out from under me. At the end of the talk, I offered a group coaching program that I had custom built for the group. It was sassy and bold with all of the buzz words I thought this target audience would love. I had some interest and commitments that they would sign up later that day. But no one did.

I was tired and drained, which left the door wide open for my Gremlin to come in with his "words of wisdom".

 “How long can you keep this up?”

“You really think people want to work with someone like you?”

“You should just go back to your 9-5.”

“If you’re not making this much money, you should just give up.”

 

I listened and absorbed the messages I knew weren’t true. I must be a failure. Even after a brand-new client signed up and paid for a 3-month package, I couldn’t shake the feeling. The next day another new client signed on for three months. I felt happy for a moment, but the thoughts lingered.

It all started to shift after sitting in silence and really listening to the message. The messages were right, but I was hearing it wrong.

“How long can you keep this up?” = Take a rest, Lauren. You’re working really hard and deserve to take care of you.

“You really think people want to work with someone like you?” = Everyone is not for you and you are not for everyone. Look at these awesome new clients. This is where you should focus your energy.

“You should just go back to your 9-5.” = Maybe you should look at working more with existing corporations. I’m sure they would love to hear from you.

“If you’re not making this much money, you should just give up.” = Look at how far you’ve come in less than two years. You’ve done this all by yourself. You attract in abundance when you take care of yourself, so you should probably rest.

 

This is why it's super important to get out of your head. Whatever is swirling around, write it down and then come back to it when you're ready to assign it another value that works for you.

 

Why You Need an Awesome Shit List Journal

Dear Diary,

Everything sucks. My job sucks. Billy is a jerk. My dog hates me.  I feel fat. Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. Guess I’ll go eat worms.

Why do all the bad things happen to me? Fix it diary!

 

Does your journal or notebook sound anything like that? Mine used to a couple years ago. I would dump all of my fear and worry onto those lines and hope that things would get better. Each day, I would open the pages and write another version of the same tune – life happening to me. I thought the venting and expression would help solve my problems, but the patterns persisted.

I needed a change, but didn’t know what to do.

Then I heard about gratitude journals – capturing the things I’m thankful for. Awesome. I can do this. I did it for a couple of months, but it still felt passive.

Then after a conversation, or two, or twenty with my boyfriend about being bummed out about a client not renewing or deals not clicking, he reminded me to focus on the awesome shit.

The light bulb went off. I needed a book solely focused on capturing my AWESOME SHIT. So I made myself one and custom made ones for my new clients with their names written in. The clients I started attracting became focused on making awesome shit happening and now they had a place to write about it.

I still journal and process the stories I need to work out, but I tend to throw those sheets away so it doesn’t linger.

I love my Awesome Shit List Journal and I love the look on the faces of people who receive them. If you’d like one for the holidays for yourself or a gift, you can pick them up here: www.laurenlemunyan.com/asljournals

The Four Tendencies and Why I'm Obsessed with Them

I am an avid fan of Gretchen Rubin ever since my mom handed me a copy of “The Happiness Project.” Her voice was flawed, gritty and real. She was my type of girl. Then I started listening to “The Side Hustle School” podcast, where the host mentioned he was on a book tour with Gretchen who had an awesome new book coming out… The Four Tendencies.”

(Cue the Scoobie Doo sound)

I’ve been reading it and I won’t spoil all of the magical gems that you need to read about, be here is the teaser.

There are two types of expectations: internal and external. With those expectations, we either listen or reject them.

Say what?!?!

You mean to tell me everyone isn’t motivated by the same things?

That’s exactly what Gretchen Rubin is saying.

 

The Four Tendencies are:

The Upholder – driven by inner expectations, driven by outer expectations

The Rebel – resists inner expectations, resists outer expectations

The Questioner: driven by inner expectations, resists outer expectations

The Obliger: resists inner expectations, driven by outer expectations

 

If you can’t figure out when tendency you fit into, fear not, there is a quiz to help you determine it. Here is the link: https://gretchenrubin.com/take-the-quiz

That’s all I’m going to give you because I want you to read it and enjoy it as much as I am.

 

Why Your Mom Was Right: The 5-Second Rule to Getting Shit Done

The other day I was trying to motivate a friend, so I started counting down from 10. What ended up happening was I got motivated.

So I put a post on Facebook:

Remember when your mom would count down to do shit_ I miss those days..jpg

Of course I tagged my own mother, who explained " I think we just count because we’re trying not to lose our shit!" 

It seemed to work for some with kids falling in line before 2 was mentioned. Then there were the happy counters who loved counting with their parents and not understanding the undercurrent of approaching consequence.

After some fun banter, my friend KiKi mentioned Mel Robbins and The 5-Second Rule. I wondered what dropping food on the floor had to do with compliance, so I dug in and took a look. 

The 5-second rule is a tool for hyper-intentionality, action, and identifying moments in your life where there is tremendous opportunity and joy.  I'm super excited to read her book and try it out. If you're interested, check out the video from the TEDx talk:

Shower Time is the Best Time for Thinking and Forgetting

It’s time to hit the showers! No you aren’t in high school gym class, but you are about to cool off and refresh yourself. Ever notice how you have THE BEST ideas in the shower and then suddenly forget them? I feel your pain.

There is something about water that cleans off our bodies, but also clears out the funk and blocks in our head. The soothing temperatures and beads of water take us out of our every day hustle and bustle and allow us to tap into a momentary creative flow. Much like water flows, when there aren’t obstructions, it comes on the ready.

I have come up with my best ideas in the shower, but then I seem to forget if I remembered to wash my hair. Yep, it’s happened at least 10 times and it ain’t pretty.  In my research for this article, I actually stumbled upon a Shower Meditation – yes it does exist, but you’re not actually in a shower.

According to a study on creativity in the book Explaining Creativity: The Science of Human Innovation, we have our “Aha” moments when we’re doing mindless activities.

“In creativity research, we refer to the three Bs—for the bathtub, the bed and the bus—places where ideas have famously and suddenly emerged. When we take time off from working on a problem, we change what we're doing and our context, and that can activate different areas of our brain. If the answer wasn't in the part of the brain we were using, it might be in another. If we're lucky, in the next context we may hear or see something that relates—distantly—to the problem that we had temporarily put aside.”

So whether it’s a bathtub or shower, I have the sure fire way to avoid forgetting your great ideas.

Ladies and gentleman… drum roll… the Shower Whiteboard. Now you can write down your ideas without having to dry off and grab a pen and paper. For less than 8 bucks, I’m going to get me 4!

So scrub-a-dub and get your Aha on!

What I’m Thankful for This Thanksgiving

 

I am thankful every day, but on this day, I want to give a special shout out to the awesome people in my life who support, inspire, and hold me accountable. Yes, I’m naming names.

1)      My Mom – She’s an amazing example of resilience, power and resilience. In addition to being raised by her, she’s an amazing reminder to keep my head up and fail forward. I am grateful for our sound boarding and nonsense-checking phone calls.

2)      My Boyfriend – Yep I’m going to get sappy. He’s one of the most hardworking and talented musicians I know. His direct and loving feedback has inspired me to only focus on my collective awesome shit and to lessen the blow of a no or a not yet. He has opened my creative floodgates with getting on stage and feeling fearless in front of hundreds of people. We also have the most killer handshake.

3)      My Friends – Holy shit the friends I’ve accumulated! There’s my friend and neighbor, Tish, who has not only been an amazing emotional support, but has also been a Fairy Dog Mother to my dog Rico Suave.  My oldest friend, Jenna, who after 20 years still laughs and cries with me on our hour-long calls. My super talented friends Debra and Kimberly, who have challenged and supported me to a higher standard of sound and visual expression among so much more. The SocialPreneurs, who every two weeks fill my heart and brain with resources and support to be bigger than what I am. The Monday Night Potluck Crew, who fills my belly with food each week and then makes me laugh it out.

4)      My Clients – 2 years ago I had one client. Today I have 10 and am so inspired by their vulnerability, courage and passion to living a kick ass life. I’m honored to be their coach and so thankful that they believe in me.

5)      Last, but not least, I’m thankful for Me.  I am thankful I didn’t give up when things got tough. I am thankful that I have attracted in such awesome souls. I am thankful that I chose the better and challenging life over the easy. I am thankful I keep trying and pick myself up and do it again if it doesn’t work. I am thankful that I believe and trust in myself.