Beyond the Trust Fall: How to Stop Performative Leadership and Build Real Teams
Let’s call it what it is—performative leadership is exhausting, and quite frankly, it’s become my pet peeve of 2025. Scratch that—it’s probably always been a pet peeve, but now it’s got a name and a bullhorn.
We’ve all seen it: the leader who’s quick to parrot the buzzword du jour from the latest Harvard Business Review article. One day it’s servant leadership, then it's inclusive leadership, and somewhere along the way, they throw in DEI to stay relevant. It’s the same old song with a new chorus.
And listen, there’s nothing wrong with talking about these principles. The problem? When leaders become buzzword vending machines—spitting out whatever sounds trendy without embodying any of it. I call it “mantra vomiting.” You’re not leading, you're just noise.
💥 Sniffing Out the Posers
You can spot a performative leader a mile away. They puff up like a robin in springtime at networking events, boasting about their culture of psychological safety or their empathic leadership style. So I play my favorite game: I ask, “What does that mean to you?”
That one question? It’s a mic drop moment.
Most times, they fumble. They give me the textbook definition—or worse, regurgitate something they heard in a LinkedIn webinar. But the truth? They don’t know what it means because they’ve never lived it. They haven’t done the inner work. They’re still stuck in the transaction of learning, never hitting transformation.
And that’s the difference. You can’t shortcut your way to being a trusted leader.
🧠 Integrity Over Identity Labels
This isn’t just about poor vocabulary—it’s about a lack of identity. When someone says, “I’m an empath,” I ask, “What does that mean to you?” If your answer is “I feel things,” congrats—you’re a human, not a unicorn.
Leadership is about showing up in alignment, rooted in consistency and self-awareness. If you’re constantly shifting based on what’s trending, your team sees it. They feel it. And they don’t trust it.
At a recent executive forum, we talked about rooting leadership in constancy—traits like integrity, vulnerability, and actual connection. If you’re only inclusive when HR updates the policy manual, you’re missing the point.
🧯 The Illusion of Trust
Let’s talk about trust, because baby, we’re in a drought. According to the 2025 Edelman Trust Barometer, people don’t trust business, media, or government. And companies pretending they care by posting tiles in 2020? Yeah, most of them quietly deleted those pages and returned to business as usual. Hollow words. No policy changes. No accountability. No trust.
86% of executives reported a high level of trust toward employees. However, the survey revealed only 60% of workers feel that their employers trust them. (Forbes)
Only 21% of U.S. employees strongly agree that they trust the leadership of their organization. (Gallup)
61% of workers agree that their perceived lack of trust by their employer impacts their ability to do their jobs well (Forbes)
And leaders think the fix is a trust fall or a virtual happy hour? Stop. Just stop.
🛠️ Stop the Veneer, Start the Work
Anything that feels forced—your “Forced Fun Fridays,” your “Let’s Circle Back” games—is sniffed out by employees immediately. If it feels like a veneer, it is.
People aren’t looking for performance. They’re looking for a place where they can exhale. With layoffs looming and anxiety at an all-time high, asking people to smile through the storm isn’t leadership—it’s emotional negligence.
Instead, ask real questions. Not just “How are you?” but “How’s your mom doing?” “How’s that project coming along?” Connection doesn’t have to be complicated. It has to be human.
🔄 From Performative to Real: Where We Go Now
This year and beyond, trust is the currency. And here’s your investment strategy:
Cut the theatrics.
Anchor into your values.
Stop managing labels—start leading people.
If you want your workplace to be a space of psychological safety, it starts with you. That means showing up, being honest, creating room for discomfort, and yes, making space for people to say they’re scared or overwhelmed.
Real leadership is being human on purpose. Not for applause. Not for optics. Just because it’s the right thing to do.
The numbers don’t lie, performative leadership is failing. Employees can sniff out surface level, temporary platitudes and fleeting HR trends. What employees truly want and what businesses need - Authentic, Actionable Leadership Rooted in Integrity.
✅ The Fix: Authentic, Actionable Leadership
Real team building requires more than surface-level initiatives. Here’s how to cultivate genuine trust and collaboration:
1. Prioritize Psychological Safety (for Real)
It’s not enough to say, “We value diverse perspectives.” You need to create an environment where people actually feel safe sharing their ideas and concerns without fear of backlash. That means:
✔️ Encouraging honest dialogue—foster an atmosphere where team members can voice opinions without consequences.
✔️ Embracing vulnerability—leaders should model openness by sharing their own struggles and mistakes.
✔️ Implementing supportive policies—develop guidelines that promote risk-taking and idea-sharing without judgment.
2. Build Trust with Consistency
Trust isn’t built through grand gestures; it’s established through consistent actions:
✔️ Follow through on commitments.
✔️ Hold yourself accountable before demanding accountability from others.
✔️ Be transparent about challenges instead of pretending everything’s fine.
3. Ditch the One-Off Events—Make Team Building a Daily Practice
Team building isn’t something you do once a year at a retreat—it’s something you do every day in how you communicate, recognize contributions, and navigate challenges together. Make space for real conversations, not just staged “team moments.”
Leadership Isn’t a Show—It’s a Commitment
Performative leadership is easy. Real leadership is hard—but that’s exactly why it matters. If you want a team that trusts you, respects you, and actually works well together, you need to stop performing and start leading.
So, next time you think about hosting a “team bonding” event, ask yourself: Am I doing this because it’s meaningful, or because it looks good? If it’s the latter, it’s time to rethink your approach.
Your team doesn’t need another trust fall. They need a leader they can actually trust.
🎯 Ready to Build a Team That Thrives?
If you’re tired of performative leadership and want real, actionable strategies to foster trust and collaboration, Spitfire Coach can help.
🚀 Spitfire Coach specializes in leadership development, innovation frameworks, and trust-building strategies that actually work. Whether you're a seasoned executive or an emerging leader, their coaching programs will give you the tools to create lasting change.
📩 Get in touch with Spitfire Coach today!
📍 www.spitfirecoach.com
📧 lauren@spitfirecoach.com
📞 202-656-0277
It’s time to lead with authenticity. Let’s make it happen.