Inspirational Tools

5 Reasons Why New Year's Resolutions Fail (And What You Can Do About It)

5 Reasons Why New Year's Resolutions Fail (And What You Can Do About It)

5-4-3-2-1 Happy New Year!!!
Woohoo we made it to another year filled with hope, motivation and a laundry list of the things we’d like to change. You’ve bought the new workout apparel, stocked our fridges full of healthy food and bought enough self-improvement books to keep you busy for months. You’re committed to the new you and know you will succeed!

I want you to succeed. I really do. But unfortunately those resolutions are heading for Disappointmentville, USA in about 4-6 weeks.

My Work-Life Balance Wake Up

My Work-Life Balance Wake Up

This past week I spoke at a Career Accelerator Workshop for proposal management professionals on the topic Work-Life Balance.

Confession: I was completely triggered by the topic and session title I was assigned – It’s a Marathon Not a Sprint: Work-Life Balance for the Long Haul

The 13 Most Common Entrepreneurial Pitfalls: Source, Symptoms and Remedies

The 13 Most Common Entrepreneurial Pitfalls: Source, Symptoms and Remedies

It seems that everyone on Instagram is an Entrepreneur or CEO. What used to be a high risk and scary choice, has now been glamorized into fast money, luxurious lifestyles, and ready-set-go businesses.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but the stories behind the glossy pictures are anything but fancy. I know the true stories of self-doubt, self-sabotage, and business burnout.

Over the years I’ve seen the same 13 challenges and entrepreneurial pitfalls in myself, my clients, and other entrepreneurs.

100 Days of Blogging: 7 Lessons Learned

The Tuesday after Labor Day, my boyfriend left for Barcelona for a week with his mom on their annual vacation. After getting over the initial funk of being left behind, I decided to take advantage of this new found free time.

It had been over a year since I wrote with real substance. I was on my way to finishing two books when it all came crashing down. A personal story I shared with a family member was passed along to other family members and blew up in my face. In retrospect, I was sharing my diary and that wasn't meant for anyone else's consumption. I always loved to write - even term papers in school. I would love to feel the slight resistance of the keys under my finger tips and got giddy watching the screen fill with words. I missed my old friend.

With a relatively open calendar, I decided to embark on a long-term challenge - write every day. What started as a 30-Day Blog Challenge quickly evolved into 100 days. People thought I was crazy or that I would quit. Like most people I lost interest pretty quickly in challenges, but this was different. This was an opportunity to spark my creativity, increase my accountability and share my thoughts and opinions.

I wrote about relationships, business, life hacks, time management and my dog. Whatever I was passionate about at the moment, I wrote it down. My workouts and walks soon became opportunities to brainstorm new topics. My friends and clients inspired advice-based posts. I saw the world and myself in a new way. I became a writer.

I can now say that my writer's block is resolved and I've created two e-books as a result of the blog with more on the way. I am comfortable in front of a keyboard and love writing again!

 

Here are the Blog Stats By the Numbers:

Total Word Count Over 100 days: 37,999 words (damn it, I just needed one more word for 38,000!)

Average Word Count Per Post: 379 words

Longest Blog: 977 words (http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/10-things-you-should-and-shouldnt-do-when-starting-a-business?rq=should%20and%20shouldn%27t)

Shortest Blog: 169 words (http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/6wzyipmv9tpwbp1ms05hqsq5mt71m3)

My Favorite Blog: http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/6wzyipmv9tpwbp1ms05hqsq5mt71m3

Most Read Blog: http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/10-things-you-should-and-shouldnt-do-when-starting-a-business?rq=should%20and%20shouldn%27t

 

This wasn't all fun and self-realization. I learned some hard lessons along the way. 

Lessons Learned

1)      Proofread Before Posting. My mind works faster than my fingers and at times I skip over words and “ings” or “ed.” I'm pretty sure each post had at least two errors in it, which my mom was happy to point out. I've since tried to go back through and fix the glaring errors. When posting every day, time is of the essence and in my opinion it doesn't need to be perfect to be done.

2)      I’m human. I make mistakes and if you judge me based on my spelling or grammatical errors, I challenge you to a 100-Day Blog Duel! Do you accept?? In all seriousness, human error is a real thing. I've learned to be more patient and less judgmental when I see errors in other people's work.

3)      Doing Something Every Day Can Be A Challenge, But Anything is Possible. Even with workouts and diet, I was never on every day. I actually thought I may have to skip a day or two, but fortunately I could plan out my week to schedule a post or two if I knew I was going to be busy. I love a good contingency plan! This was no exception.

4)      Not Everyone Cares That You’re Writing a Blog. Blogs are like opinions and podcasts (I have one of those too!), everyone has them and some are more in your face than others. It’s up to you what you decide to spend your time on. I hope I provided value, if not, then entertainment. On the same note, don't get wrapped up into the visits or reads of your post. I got more excited hearing from the one person who read a post and learned from it than the 200 people who read and said nothing.

5)      I Say I Won’t Do This Again, But We All Know It’s a Lie. This was a huge undertaking and I’m pretty tapped out from writing. I’ll take a break and reassess where I want to use my time and energy in the future. (2 Months Later.... I'm back at writing, but not as a daily practice or challenge.)

6)      Not Every Post is My Favorite, But They’re Mine. I guess blogging is like having a lot of kids. Some are cuter than others. Some help you. Some are jerks. Some you wish never happened, but they all come from you and for that you love them! (Can you tell I’m not a parent?) 

7)      I’m Capable of More Than I Think. Yes, I pushed myself and maxed out my energy. This was a challenge to break out of my judgment and restraint around writing. That has certainly been busted into a million pieces. I am a writer. I am a blogger. I am a coach. I am awesome.

 

I can’t believe this challenge is over. It’s bittersweet, which sounds so cliché. It’s been my weekend writing ritual and my morning posting routine. It’s been my outlet of expression and door to connect with others. It allowed me to take risks and say what was on my mind. It also left me wide open to judgment and criticism. It was a constant reminder to stay on my path, but also served as a distraction to other important aspects like self-care and focusing on core business practices.

It’s been a journey and I’m happy I took the first step. So here’s a giant high-five to me!

My 2018 Business Goals

Earlier today I designed a graphic for a client representing her dream life in 10 years. She's a public figure and wants to expand her reach into the media world. I immediately thought of designing her a magazine cover. It was awesome (she thought so too!). I sent it over and wondered why I hadn't done it for myself.

Like most inspirational tools I design, they are inspired by my clients. I actually really love developing visual tools to help them see their progress, goals, and ideal images. I've created an Ideal Leader, Ideal Client, Life Map, Value Compass and now 10-Year Dream Board Image.

So I designed myself one for 2018 with my goals. I'm going big, because why the hell not?! I'm big on setting intentions and sharing it with others. So if you're reading this and you want to be a part of me making big moves in 2018, you can get started in 2017!

Here is the image.

2018map LL.jpg

2018 Goals

  1. Make it on a magazine cover

  2. Known as "Spitting Some Fire" in my "Super Fucking Magical Coaching" and hosting "The SpitFire Podcast"

  3. 25+ Paid Speaking Gigs

  4. 15 Active Clients Per Month

  5. 2 Published Books

  6. The SpitFire Podcast is killing it in downloads and sponsorship

  7. Ongoing referrals for Confidence and Leadership Training for Existing and Emerging CEOs

  8. I live by the motto "If It's Not Fun, Why Do It?!

  9. I am a catalyst of positive change

  10. I help people take care of themselves, so they can take care of business.

  11. Quadruple 2017 Revenue

Before 2018 is here, I'd love to see your goals. Feel free to post them in the comment section or email it to me lauren@laurenlemunyan.com

Three Questions That Will Change Your Life

 

Are you ready to find the holy grail of question asking to know what you should do? Yes? Are You Sure?

Hehe those were three questions, but not the questions that will change your life.

As a coach, we are trained to have a tool box of tactics and engaging questions to get our clients to think beyond the known and go to the untapped vault of creativity and imagination. We guide people through the self-imposed and externally position stress and judgment to open their eyes to what could be possible.

See if what you were doing was working for you, you wouldn’t be reading this blog and you probably wouldn’t be seeking external expertise (P.S. You’re super smart for doing that. The most awesome, smartest people in the world have coaches). So I’m going to key you into the most awesome grouping of questions to get your future-self-brainpower going.

Ready?

You sure? Because things aren’t that bad. You know what to expect. You know what’s going to happen and how you need to show up to get a desired outcome. It’s safe there.

What’s that? You don’t want to be the same? You don’t want to keep being small? You’re ready to live large and all out?

Okay! You’re ready!

 

Here are the questions:

1)      What Do You Want?

2)      Why Do You Want It?

3)      What Would Be Different If You Had It?

 Ta-daaaaaaaa!

Answer those questions and make it happen. It’s that easy! If it’s not doable, you most likely have some blocks to success called GAILs (Gremlins, Assumptions, Interpretations, and Limiting Beliefs). These guys are within all of us and with the proper coping strategies and tactics to leverage them, you too can have the life you dreamed of!

Misreading The Inner Critic’s Messages

The last six months have been awesome. Amazing clients I’ve never met before are finding me. I’m creating solid and consistent content. My business is growing.

You would think I would be floating with excitement. But I didn't.

Immediately following a talk I gave about confidence, I felt the floor slowly drop out from under me. At the end of the talk, I offered a group coaching program that I had custom built for the group. It was sassy and bold with all of the buzz words I thought this target audience would love. I had some interest and commitments that they would sign up later that day. But no one did.

I was tired and drained, which left the door wide open for my Gremlin to come in with his "words of wisdom".

 “How long can you keep this up?”

“You really think people want to work with someone like you?”

“You should just go back to your 9-5.”

“If you’re not making this much money, you should just give up.”

 

I listened and absorbed the messages I knew weren’t true. I must be a failure. Even after a brand-new client signed up and paid for a 3-month package, I couldn’t shake the feeling. The next day another new client signed on for three months. I felt happy for a moment, but the thoughts lingered.

It all started to shift after sitting in silence and really listening to the message. The messages were right, but I was hearing it wrong.

“How long can you keep this up?” = Take a rest, Lauren. You’re working really hard and deserve to take care of you.

“You really think people want to work with someone like you?” = Everyone is not for you and you are not for everyone. Look at these awesome new clients. This is where you should focus your energy.

“You should just go back to your 9-5.” = Maybe you should look at working more with existing corporations. I’m sure they would love to hear from you.

“If you’re not making this much money, you should just give up.” = Look at how far you’ve come in less than two years. You’ve done this all by yourself. You attract in abundance when you take care of yourself, so you should probably rest.

 

This is why it's super important to get out of your head. Whatever is swirling around, write it down and then come back to it when you're ready to assign it another value that works for you.

 

Why You Need an Awesome Shit List Journal

Dear Diary,

Everything sucks. My job sucks. Billy is a jerk. My dog hates me.  I feel fat. Nobody likes me. Everybody hates me. Guess I’ll go eat worms.

Why do all the bad things happen to me? Fix it diary!

 

Does your journal or notebook sound anything like that? Mine used to a couple years ago. I would dump all of my fear and worry onto those lines and hope that things would get better. Each day, I would open the pages and write another version of the same tune – life happening to me. I thought the venting and expression would help solve my problems, but the patterns persisted.

I needed a change, but didn’t know what to do.

Then I heard about gratitude journals – capturing the things I’m thankful for. Awesome. I can do this. I did it for a couple of months, but it still felt passive.

Then after a conversation, or two, or twenty with my boyfriend about being bummed out about a client not renewing or deals not clicking, he reminded me to focus on the awesome shit.

The light bulb went off. I needed a book solely focused on capturing my AWESOME SHIT. So I made myself one and custom made ones for my new clients with their names written in. The clients I started attracting became focused on making awesome shit happening and now they had a place to write about it.

I still journal and process the stories I need to work out, but I tend to throw those sheets away so it doesn’t linger.

I love my Awesome Shit List Journal and I love the look on the faces of people who receive them. If you’d like one for the holidays for yourself or a gift, you can pick them up here: www.laurenlemunyan.com/asljournals

The Four Tendencies and Why I'm Obsessed with Them

I am an avid fan of Gretchen Rubin ever since my mom handed me a copy of “The Happiness Project.” Her voice was flawed, gritty and real. She was my type of girl. Then I started listening to “The Side Hustle School” podcast, where the host mentioned he was on a book tour with Gretchen who had an awesome new book coming out… The Four Tendencies.”

(Cue the Scoobie Doo sound)

I’ve been reading it and I won’t spoil all of the magical gems that you need to read about, be here is the teaser.

There are two types of expectations: internal and external. With those expectations, we either listen or reject them.

Say what?!?!

You mean to tell me everyone isn’t motivated by the same things?

That’s exactly what Gretchen Rubin is saying.

 

The Four Tendencies are:

The Upholder – driven by inner expectations, driven by outer expectations

The Rebel – resists inner expectations, resists outer expectations

The Questioner: driven by inner expectations, resists outer expectations

The Obliger: resists inner expectations, driven by outer expectations

 

If you can’t figure out when tendency you fit into, fear not, there is a quiz to help you determine it. Here is the link: https://gretchenrubin.com/take-the-quiz

That’s all I’m going to give you because I want you to read it and enjoy it as much as I am.

 

Why Your Mom Was Right: The 5-Second Rule to Getting Shit Done

The other day I was trying to motivate a friend, so I started counting down from 10. What ended up happening was I got motivated.

So I put a post on Facebook:

Remember when your mom would count down to do shit_ I miss those days..jpg

Of course I tagged my own mother, who explained " I think we just count because we’re trying not to lose our shit!" 

It seemed to work for some with kids falling in line before 2 was mentioned. Then there were the happy counters who loved counting with their parents and not understanding the undercurrent of approaching consequence.

After some fun banter, my friend KiKi mentioned Mel Robbins and The 5-Second Rule. I wondered what dropping food on the floor had to do with compliance, so I dug in and took a look. 

The 5-second rule is a tool for hyper-intentionality, action, and identifying moments in your life where there is tremendous opportunity and joy.  I'm super excited to read her book and try it out. If you're interested, check out the video from the TEDx talk:

Shower Time is the Best Time for Thinking and Forgetting

It’s time to hit the showers! No you aren’t in high school gym class, but you are about to cool off and refresh yourself. Ever notice how you have THE BEST ideas in the shower and then suddenly forget them? I feel your pain.

There is something about water that cleans off our bodies, but also clears out the funk and blocks in our head. The soothing temperatures and beads of water take us out of our every day hustle and bustle and allow us to tap into a momentary creative flow. Much like water flows, when there aren’t obstructions, it comes on the ready.

I have come up with my best ideas in the shower, but then I seem to forget if I remembered to wash my hair. Yep, it’s happened at least 10 times and it ain’t pretty.  In my research for this article, I actually stumbled upon a Shower Meditation – yes it does exist, but you’re not actually in a shower.

According to a study on creativity in the book Explaining Creativity: The Science of Human Innovation, we have our “Aha” moments when we’re doing mindless activities.

“In creativity research, we refer to the three Bs—for the bathtub, the bed and the bus—places where ideas have famously and suddenly emerged. When we take time off from working on a problem, we change what we're doing and our context, and that can activate different areas of our brain. If the answer wasn't in the part of the brain we were using, it might be in another. If we're lucky, in the next context we may hear or see something that relates—distantly—to the problem that we had temporarily put aside.”

So whether it’s a bathtub or shower, I have the sure fire way to avoid forgetting your great ideas.

Ladies and gentleman… drum roll… the Shower Whiteboard. Now you can write down your ideas without having to dry off and grab a pen and paper. For less than 8 bucks, I’m going to get me 4!

So scrub-a-dub and get your Aha on!

What I’m Thankful for This Thanksgiving

 

I am thankful every day, but on this day, I want to give a special shout out to the awesome people in my life who support, inspire, and hold me accountable. Yes, I’m naming names.

1)      My Mom – She’s an amazing example of resilience, power and resilience. In addition to being raised by her, she’s an amazing reminder to keep my head up and fail forward. I am grateful for our sound boarding and nonsense-checking phone calls.

2)      My Boyfriend – Yep I’m going to get sappy. He’s one of the most hardworking and talented musicians I know. His direct and loving feedback has inspired me to only focus on my collective awesome shit and to lessen the blow of a no or a not yet. He has opened my creative floodgates with getting on stage and feeling fearless in front of hundreds of people. We also have the most killer handshake.

3)      My Friends – Holy shit the friends I’ve accumulated! There’s my friend and neighbor, Tish, who has not only been an amazing emotional support, but has also been a Fairy Dog Mother to my dog Rico Suave.  My oldest friend, Jenna, who after 20 years still laughs and cries with me on our hour-long calls. My super talented friends Debra and Kimberly, who have challenged and supported me to a higher standard of sound and visual expression among so much more. The SocialPreneurs, who every two weeks fill my heart and brain with resources and support to be bigger than what I am. The Monday Night Potluck Crew, who fills my belly with food each week and then makes me laugh it out.

4)      My Clients – 2 years ago I had one client. Today I have 10 and am so inspired by their vulnerability, courage and passion to living a kick ass life. I’m honored to be their coach and so thankful that they believe in me.

5)      Last, but not least, I’m thankful for Me.  I am thankful I didn’t give up when things got tough. I am thankful that I have attracted in such awesome souls. I am thankful that I chose the better and challenging life over the easy. I am thankful I keep trying and pick myself up and do it again if it doesn’t work. I am thankful that I believe and trust in myself.