The Counter Resolution: Embracing What Already Works for You
As we step into a new chapter, the air is rife with resolutions and promises of change. But here's a twist for you – instead of the traditional New Year's resolutions, let's talk about the Counter Resolution. It's about focusing on what's already ticking in your life, the small yet significant actions that are making a difference. It’s about doubling down on these actions.
At the end of the year, we put out a short newsletter about The Counter Resolution and got several requests to expand on the idea. So here you go!
As we step into a new chapter, the air is rife with resolutions and promises of change. But here's a twist for you – instead of the traditional New Year's resolutions, let's talk about the Counter Resolution. It's about focusing on what's already ticking in your life, the small yet significant actions that are making a difference. It’s about doubling down on these actions.
Doubling Down: What Does It Mean?
Doubling down means taking something that's already working for you and amplifying it. For instance, taking a moment to breathe before diving into your digital world or stepping away from the screen when stress beckons. It's about recognizing those lunchtime walks or moments of gratitude that add a sparkle to your day. These are not just routines; they are your stepping stones to greater success and well-being.
The Power of Positive Focus
Statistics and studies have long shown the power of positive focus. A study by the University of California found that people who focused on positive experiences had greater life satisfaction and fewer health complaints. It's about creating an imprint of positivity in our lives.
How to Identify and Amplify What Works
Recognition and Reflection: Start by recognizing what's working. Perhaps you've been more mindful of your health, or you've managed to balance work and personal life better. Acknowledge these changes, no matter how small.
Document Your Successes: Writing down these positive aspects can be incredibly powerful. A Harvard Business Review study suggests that people who jot down their successes feel more confident and capable.
Increase Intensity and Intention: Once you've identified what's working, think about how you can do more of it. If a short walk helps clear your mind, consider extending it. If expressing gratitude makes you happy, try doing it more often.
Utilize the 90-Day Reflection Technique: Look back at the last 90 days and note your wins. What did you do to achieve them? Get detailed – the specifics will guide your path forward.
Case Studies: Doubling Down in Action
Corporate Success Story: A report by Deloitte highlighted a company that focused on their employees' strengths, leading to a 14% increase in productivity and a 20% increase in sales.
A Personal Growth Tale: Consider one of our clients, we’ll call her “Jane”. Jane is a marketing executive who decided to increase her morning meditation from 5 to 10 minutes. Not only did she report feeling more focused, but she also noticed a 30% rise in her work output.
Conclusion: Your Secret Magic Sauce
By doubling down on what's working, you're not just maintaining the status quo; you're elevating it. It's about harnessing your unique strengths and practices that contribute to your success. In a world fixated on fixing what's broken, let's shift our gaze to what's flourishing and make it thrive even more. Remember, it's the little things that often make the biggest difference. Here’s to making the most of what’s already making your life better!
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How to Go on Vacation as a Business Owner or Manager (and Actually Enjoy It)
I was nervous, stressed out, always needing to work, constantly feeling like I was going to miss an opportunity, or my clients weren’t going to come back, or I had to work because I had to make money. And if I didn't make money, everything was going to fall apart. The only thing that ended up falling apart was my sanity, my energy, and my health. So I had to get honest with myself about it.
“Listen, chick. You got one life to live, how do you want to live it?
Today we’re talking about taking a vacation and coming back rested and recharged. I cannot tell you how many of my clients do not know how to do this - or how hard it’s been for me!
I was nervous, stressed out, always needing to work, constantly feeling like I was going to miss an opportunity, or my clients weren’t going to come back, or I had to work because I had to make money. And if I didn't make money, everything was going to fall apart. The only thing that ended up falling apart was my sanity, my energy, and my health. So I had to get honest with myself about it.
“Listen, chick! You’ve got one life to live. How do you want to live it?”
I find it interesting when my clients come to me and say, "I'm nervous about taking time off. I'm anxious about coming back from vacation." My response is, "Of course you are!"
Imagine if you're already feeling stressed out and overwhelmed, and you have a mountain of a to-do list, and you step away from it for a week or two weeks, or maybe it's a day or two. And all you can think about are the messages, the voicemails, the emails, the mountain of responsibility awaiting you when you return.
You can't relax when you're at home because all you're thinking about is that mountain that is waiting for you. So you convince yourself that you need to go and check your email, you just need to go and check Slack, you just need to go and check your voicemail and text messages on your work phone.
Then you fall into THE RABBIT HOLE OF DISTRACTION and before you know it you’ve work a full day while you were supposed to be on vacation.
And then you start comparing and judging yourself. And thus, the cycle continues, and you come back after your "vacation" feeling worse than when you left. You are not rested, not recharged, AND you are beating yourself up on the inside for not handling things how you wanted.
So first, let us all take a deep breath.
Let's use this as an opportunity to forgive ourselves for past violations of our vacation time and the self-punishment that followed. Let’s instead acknowledge that we have not treated ourselves very well. We have not been good stewards of our well-being.
And then we can use this as our opportunity to redefine what vacation is about how we want to feel when we're on vacation and, most importantly, how we want to feel when returning from vacation. For me, vacation is about us taking intentional time away from my day-to-day tasks to have fun, nap and read.
Did you know that a lot of companies have mandatory sabbaticals? For example, in the financial industry, companies have pre-scheduled mandatory time that you step away. Companies use this time as an opportunity to see if there has been any corruption or fraud happening or if processes are breaking down or not as efficient or effective without us. As a manager or business owner, you want to know where you may be creating inefficiencies or gaps.
Breaks and vacations are an integral part of the business. We need to take breaks because we need to see how realistic and reasonable it is without you there. Yes, that's right, you are replaceable. We all can be replaced, but I still think you're special!
We are not robots or machines. Even robots and machines need servicing, updates in software, belts and batteries replaced, or an oiling up!
You should be oiled up on a beach! Doesn't that sound fantastic?!
I also want you to realize and understand the message you send to your team when you don't take breaks. When you don't recharge when you step away and don't honor that time with your family, it says, “you shouldn’t either or I may not value or respect you.” Your actions are just as important as your words and when they don’t line up, it creates distrust.
This is an old story, and you probably have had a stressful situation where you've had a boss who's violated boundaries, who's messaged you while you're away, while you're with family, and you have probably responded. Maybe that was a toxic situation, perhaps it was an emergency. But the reality is we start to categorize everything, every communication as urgent and important, when in fact, it's not. We are allowed to go away and we also need to have boundaries.
Here are some ways I’ve prepped myself for time away from my business:
Make an Agreement with Yourself
When I'm away on vacation, I agree to do the following things:
(I want you to write your own list)
1) I agree to remove social media apps from my phone.
2) I agree not to check work email.
3) I agree to put an out-of-office response on my email.
4) I agree not to schedule client meetings while I'm on vacation. (That's a big one. For me, I'm like... I can squeeze in a session.) No, vacation is vacation.
Ok now that we have our vacation agreements made, here’s are 3 Things to Prep You for Vacay:
1) Let people know well in advance that you will be taking a vacation
2) Create a contingency plan. For example, "In my absence, please get in touch with this person and then that person can then determine if it is an emergency and be clear about what makes an emergency."
An emergency is not when people can't find a file or have trouble with a mail merge. That's what Google is for. It's a beautiful thing.
3) The Night Before, or Right Now, Delete The Apps that Trigger You - A lot of my clients have Slack. Take this app off your phone. There's something about that "ping" sound that elicits a stress response. Anything that alerts you turn it off, or better yet, delete it! We're trying to de-stress you here!
Your time away is also an opportunity to train people to be more autonomous, have more agency, and feel more independent. Ultimately, this is what you want to do as a leader!
Can you believe that going on vacation is leadership training?!
Here is where you can start to delegate away:
As you're preparing for a vacation, you need to put your contingency plan in place. Who's responsible for what in which scenarios?
If you're feeling anxious, use it to find the gaps and areas of concern in your plan.
"Oh, no, this is going to happen! What do they do if I'm not there?!"
Okay, let's imagine that happens. Who's going to do what? Who's going to take on what needs to happen while you're gone?
2. Accept that you cannot do everything, AND you are not meant to do everything.
It's a very inefficient business model to do that. If you were that in demand, you are holding things up, you are the bottleneck. So this is the time to take the lid off the bottle and depressurize.
3. This vacation allows you not just to unplug and recharge but allows your team to see what else they can do.
What else can they take on? What else are they capable of? And if they can't handle it, well then, what's wrong with the process, and what needs to be shifted and changed in the process? If it's not sustainable for you to be away, then we either don't have enough resources, the process is broken, the product is damaged, but we can't mask it. We can't duct tape it and say that it's perfection because that's not true. Once we know the source, we can improve our fix the dysfunction, but not with you in the way!
You deserve to have a break. It is a necessary part of life. So if you're a small business owner, take a break, even if you're just getting your business off the ground.
As a reminder, be proactive. Look for the gaps. If you have a stress response, get curious about it. What is it that you need to figure out? What questions do you need to ask? What resources do you need to build a plan that's outside of you so that you can step away and exhale?
4. Remember to breathe, just breathe.
That's the biggest thing about being on vacation is just to be present, take it in, enjoy the time and capture those memories. I hope you take a break as much as you can because we all need it.
My Work-Life Balance Wake Up
This past week I spoke at a Career Accelerator Workshop for proposal management professionals on the topic Work-Life Balance.
Confession: I was completely triggered by the topic and session title I was assigned – It’s a Marathon Not a Sprint: Work-Life Balance for the Long Haul
This past week I spoke at a Career Accelerator Workshop for proposal management professionals on the topic of Work-Life Balance.
Confession: I was completely triggered by the topic and session title I was assigned – It’s a Marathon Not a Sprint: Work-Life Balance for the Long Haul
Why was I triggered?
I heard people talk about balance like it’s the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or an elusive unicorn waiting just beyond the horizon. There are tons of self-help books, podcasts, and classes about mastering it. Insert yoga class, meditation, essential oils, and kale and voila, we can achieve Work-Life Balance! Even with the best intentions, these positive practices last a week or two before the common stressors of life kick in like an unappreciative boss, sick kids, a computer glitch, etc that set us back into our self-destructive ways.
Why do I know this?
This is what I do for a living. I work with people to get motivated and de-stress. I’m known for helping people with burnout recovery and prevention.
The Real Reason
Because this is me. I SHOULD have it all together, but just like the shoemaker with no shoes, I am guilty of negative self-speak, lethargy, over-consumption of crap television and junk food (sour cream and onion chips!). I was in a daze of distraction of late nights binging on Netflix to self-assigned dead-end projects knowing they didn’t serve me or my business. I was spinning my wheels and I was aware that I wasn’t gaining traction. My energy sucked, I put on 15 lbs. and I couldn’t look on Instagram without hating myself and 98% of the people posting.
I’m not writing this as a reflective story from five years ago. This happened just a few weeks ago. I wrote my first book in August and got an amazing response and I thought naively that the momentum would continue and the next idea for a book would come rushing in. But it didn’t.
I then decided to make an ego-rocking decision to move from my amazing apartment in the sky with picture perfect views to a studio with 40% less space, no view and more quirks than I knew what to do with. I got rid of my furniture and non-essentials. I thought the less stuff and space would give me an opening to create. It didn’t. Instead I felt claustrophobic, isolated and paralyzed. My space didn’t make me feel successful. An ounce of clutter overwhelmed my sight line. A dirty dish became an impossible task. My bed became my home base where I spent more hours in then I want to admit.
Who was I to be giving advice on Work-Life Balance, when my world seemed to be merging into a blob of funk??
This was my real trigger. I felt like an impostor. How could I be the expert on balance when I was struggling to get myself out of bed? How could I inspire people to be confident in their own skin when I didn’t feel comfortable in my own?
It wasn’t until my grandmother’s funeral the week before Thanksgiving that it clicked. I had been focusing on what wasn’t there or what was lacking. My brain was on high alert pinpointing everything that wasn’t working. But there’s nothing like people who knew you when you had a snotty nose and were missing teeth.
My family that I hadn’t seen for 15+ years didn’t care that I wasn’t writing another book – they were happy I wrote the one I did and that it was dedicated to my grandma, Dolly. They didn’t care that I put on weight – they had nothing to compare it to. They were just happy to see me and to hear my stories honoring Dolly. They loved me because I showed up as me.
My heart filled up to a level I didn’t know I had been missing. I was open to receive and to listen to what I needed.
What was out of balance?
I was out of alignment with familial connection. I was so focused with creating, entertaining and managing other people, that I forgot about my own need for connection. I excused it away as people being busy, but I missed my family and my friends.
After returning home, I decided to get my shit together and park the pity train at the station. I signed up for a 4-week workout/meal plan challenge at the insistence of one of my clients (yes, even the coach can get coached!) and have stuck with it. I asked for help from my amazing neighbors who volunteered their space for me to work out of and store my over-sized furniture. I can now see my floor and access both windows in my 395-foot space. I started writing again – hence this blog post.
Most importantly I spoke to that room of proposal management professionals not as an uppity expert, but as a human being doing the best I could. Instead of reading slides and telling people what to do, I offered tools and encouraged them to trust themselves and listen to what their body and soul really needed.
See, it’s not about the perfect amount of time or energy that you spend at work and home, but about how you spend it. It’s an ongoing check-in with yourself about what’s working and what’s not. When you make it about your choice and your terms, you have the ability to reframe any situation or make new decisions that better serve you. When you take care of yourself first and foremost you can better support and take care of others around you!
Attention Entrepreneurs: Stop Your “Hustle”, “Grind” and “Struggle”
Your words have more power than you could ever imagine. So what happens when you adopt the hustle, struggle and grind mentality that you’re “supposed” to have as an entrepreneur or business owner?
You may have a shirt or mug with a version of one of these phrases…
“Rise and Grind”
“The Hustle is Real”
“The Struggle is Necessary”
It’s become the mantra for entrepreneurs and new business owners. “I’ve gotta struggle, hustle and grind to make it” you think to yourself.
Really?! When did that become desirable or cool?
That’s the mindset you want to wake up to everyday? That’s your inspiration for leaving your cozy guaranteed paycheck with benefits and days off?
“Sleep is for the weak. I’ll sleep with I’m dead.”
Good luck with that. Sleep deprivation is the killer of your healthy, clarity and creativity. You know, those necessary elements needed to start and run a business.
“Entrepreneurship is risky. I’ve gotta throw everything I have at it.”
Yes, with anything there are risks, but before you go investing in online master classes, programs, software and virtual assistants, get yourself a plan. Sit down and think about what you want to accomplish. Well first make sure you get some sleep and are hydrated (self-care is paramount). Calculate your risks.
Get Real With Yourself.
What are you willing to lose financially, energetically, logistically? How much time do you currently have to spare? What is reasonable to accomplish with that time? Can you stay in your current position while you build your dream?
What’s Your Urgency Really About?
Anytime I hear people talk about their business with any of those three words, it’s a red flag. This can be about proving to others that you’re a success, challenging the naysayers, or providing for your family. The common theme — these are all externally charged, which makes you more prone to burn out and a short fuse of patience.
“Well I didn’t mean those words like that.”
Words are powerful and also provide clues to inner dialogues. I suggest you explore your own internal conversation about what being an entrepreneur is really about. It’s not glamorous, but no where is it written that you can’t enjoy yourself, have a balanced life or have fun. If you want to chase those millions and billions, go for it, but first ask yourself why. Why is that figure or target so important? How will it change things in your life? What small steps can you take today towards living your most fulfilling life?
“Do you not like money or something?”
Oh I love money! I love saving it, investing it and earning it. I know it flows and comes in when I’m in my most powerful state. When I stop worrying what everyone thinks or where the next check is going to come from, I take the necessary steps to attract in awesome opportunities.
The next time you think about your finances — do you want to grind, hustle or struggle? Choose your words carefully. They have more power than you think.
The 13 Most Common Entrepreneurial Pitfalls: Source, Symptoms and Remedies
It seems that everyone on Instagram is an Entrepreneur or CEO. What used to be a high risk and scary choice, has now been glamorized into fast money, luxurious lifestyles, and ready-set-go businesses.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but the stories behind the glossy pictures are anything but fancy. I know the true stories of self-doubt, self-sabotage, and business burnout.
Over the years I’ve seen the same 13 challenges and entrepreneurial pitfalls in myself, my clients, and other entrepreneurs.
It seems that everyone on Instagram is an Entrepreneur or CEO. What used to be a high risk and scary choice, has now been glamorized into fast money, luxurious lifestyles, and ready-set-go businesses.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but the stories behind the glossy pictures are anything but fancy. I know the true stories of self-doubt, self-sabotage, and business burnout.
Over the years I’ve seen the same 13 challenges and entrepreneurial pitfalls in myself, my clients, and other entrepreneurs:
Not Having a Clear Focus/Mission
Trying to Be All Things to All People
Lack of Revenue Diversity — Relying on One Client
Imposter Syndrome
DIYitis
Isolation
Burning the Candle at Both Ends/Lack of Self-care
Taking it Personal and Not Making it About the Client/Customer
Not Going All In/ Not Showing Up at 100%
Not Charging the Appropriate Amount (usually too little)
Investing in Tactics and Not Youself or Business
Not Taking/Accepting Help
Expecting Success to Come Easy with Minimal Effort
But how do we overcome these challenges and entrepreneurial pitfalls?
We start a new conversation.
We get honest
We get real and we get to the root of the issue.
Simple right? Now go do it!
It would be unfair to leave you with a list and a simple three-sentence plan.
In the next section, we’re going to dive into the source, symptoms, and remedy for each pitfall. Before we get going, I suggest writing down, the numbers of your pitfalls. Don’t be afraid… I deal with and have dealt with all 13!
1. Not Having a Clear Focus/Mission
Source: Information overload. The entrepreneur starts with an initial excitement and idea to follow and then, like Pac Man, starts gobbling up all the ideas. With a lack of organization and filtration device, the ideas get muddied. What once started as vibrant colors and ideas have now mixed into a glob of muck.
Symptoms: Squirrely focus. Distracted easily. Persuaded easily by others. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Frazzled. “Yes” to all the things.
Remedy: Stop. It’s time to go back to square one before the business was ever in motion. What was the core idea or inspiration? What about it excited and motivated you? This is where your new mission and focus will be developed. If you are still unclear, reach out to trusted advisors or a business coach for clarity. This will be uncomfortable at the start but stick with it until you feel a focused energy.
2. Trying to Be All Things to All People
Source: People pleasing tendencies. Not wanting to disappoint people by saying no. Desire to be “The Nice Girl or Guy.” Seeking of Likeability.
Symptoms: Burnout. Overloaded schedule. Triple bookings. Feeling of being taken advantage of. Plays roles that don’t suit skillset. Feeling of being helpful, but helpless. May suffer from reoccurring colds or illness.
Remedy: The Triple D Method to Time Management. All decisions will be based on the following three criteria:
Doability: Can it be done with the current resources (time, skill, and manpower) as requested? If no, see “Delegatability.” If yes, see “Desirability.”
Desirability: Does this feel like a treat or punishment? If it’s a treat, get it done! If it’s a punishment, see “Delegability” or use the power of “No.”
Delegatability: Can this task realistically be performed by someone other than you? If yes, delegate away. If no, and it failed the “Desirability” and “Doability,” that’s a “Triple D Fail.”
You are only to say yes if it’s a “Triple D Success.”
3. Lack of Revenue Diversity — Relying on One Client
Source: Security. High Levels of Trust. Single Focus.
Symptoms: Scarcity mentality. Anxiety around outside factor. Worry around when the well will dry up. All or nothing mentality. Increased stress. Lack of sleep. Weight gain/Weight loss related to stress.
Remedy: Business Development. Who are the next 3-5 organizations/clients that would benefit from your services? It’s time to pick up the phone or write some emails. If a client is responsible for more than 40% of your revenue, it’s time to diversify. It’s easier to make up 40% than 100%.
4. Imposter Syndrome
Source: Lack of confidence. Self-doubt. Limiting beliefs around being qualified/verified. Past examples of failure, being unsure, witnessing failure in others.
Symptoms: Self-sabotage. Not showing up as an expert or thought leader. Playing small. Selling self-short.
Remedy: Create Your Credentials. Just like in school you had to pass a core curriculum, now is your chance. Write down a list of the credentials you need to be a qualified entrepreneur. Seriously. Don’t make it about anyone else. What do you need to learn, experience, gain expertise in, connect to? Create a 101, 201, 301 and 401 syllabi and go from there. After you’ve accomplished your course load, you get to graduate! Yes, you need a ceremony, cap, gown, and diploma!
5. DIYitis
Source: Lack of trust. Past disappointment. My-way-is-the-only-way mindset.
Symptoms: Overwhelm. Overload. Burnout. Distrust. Micromanaging others. Taking back control after delegating. Not outsourcing when appropriate. Slowing down progress. Project stall out.
Remedy: Recruit a Trusted Partner. Whether it’s a colleague or coach, you need someone who has your back and will give you honest feedback and input. You can’t do it all and you shouldn’t have to. What do you need support with? What can you easily move off your plate? Start small and work to build trust with others. If you assume everyone will burn you, you’re probably attracting in people who will. What if you could set your sites on someone who will be truthful and direct with you? Even if you don’t like what they have to say, at least you know where they stand. And how awesome would it be to move things off your plate and focus on your strengths?!
6. Isolation
Source: Fear of rejection. Desire to focus inwards. Introversion.
Symptoms: Refuses social invitations. Lack of networking and connection with others. (See DIYitis). Rejection of idea sharing and brainstorming.
Remedy: Exposure. Sign up for a Meet-Up group or networking event. Call a friend or two. Meet a colleague or client for coffee. Get a shower, get dressed and get out there. Your home office funk is seeping into your pores, it’s time to fresh up your body, mind, and brain!
7. Burning the Candle at Both Ends and Lack of Self-care
Source: Assumption of Machine-Like Abilities. False Sense of Unlimited Energy.
Symptoms: At its most extreme level, illness and burnout. Initially, it is shown as an unstoppable force. Others envy their unstoppable abilities that seem like the Energizer Bunny. For outsiders, they keep going and going without sleep. Without necessary care and recharge, they undoubtedly crash.
Remedy: Sleep (7 hours+), Meditation (5-10 minutes per day), Walking outdoors, Yoga, Nutritious food. If you’re familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, these are at the foundation. If you want to run efficiently like a machine, you’ve gotta keep it fueled and serviced.
8. Taking it Personal and Not Making it About the Client
Source: Fear of being wrong. Fear of failure. Scarcity mentality. Over-personification with business.
Symptoms: By only focusing on one opinion, the entrepreneur is either all right or all wrong. There is no gray area. With a personal single focus, decisions are made on emotional impulse and reaction. Feelings of disconnection and rejection. Internalization of rejection. Judgment. Energy sinks with each rejection.
Remedy: Objectification. You are not the business and the business is not you. Your business is your product/service for clients/customers. By focusing on the needs of those purchasing your goods and services, you can make comprehensive, data-driven and objective decisions. Each failure and success may be a result of your decision, but it does not define who you are.
9. Not Going All In or Not Showing Up at 100%
Source: (See Imposter Syndrome) Lack of confidence. Fear of failure. Fear of success.
Symptoms: Hesitation. Underselling expertise. Lack of risk taking. Unconfident body language. Fidgeting and lack of focus in conversation.
Remedy: (See Imposter Syndrome Remedies) Get to Your Why. It goes back to your why? Why are you an entrepreneur? Why are you taking some safe risks, but not the necessary ones to grow? What are you really afraid of?
10. Not Charging the Appropriate Amount
Source: Fear of rejection. Getting into Client’s Story. Assumption of Value. Interpretation of Lower Value. Lack of Confidence.
Symptoms: Stating prices and then quoting lower. Assuming client doesn’t want to or can’t pay prices. Afraid of people saying no. Consistently take money off of the table before the negotiation has begun. Acknowledges they could be making more, but find it hard to ask.
Remedy: Set Your Prices, Value, and Rationale. This is where you let the facts run the show. Do your research, how much are your competitors charging and what is an appropriate rate? What value do you bring to the table (see your credibility exercise in Imposter Syndrome)? Now write down your rationale for each price. This is your new internal and external script. Until you know it by heart and believe it, you depend on it.
11. Investing in Tactics and Not Yourself or Business
Source: Belief in the Magical Pill. Immediate Gratification. Avoidance of Discomfort. Lack of Focus or a Plan.
Symptoms: Multiple purchases of “Get Rich Quick” or “Learn this Tactic” program, but fails to full implement or see results. Thousands of dollars have been spent, but not invested. Uses language like “If only I…” or “When this gets done, then I’ll be successful.” Frustration at lack of results. Blames others for lack of success.
Remedy: The Mirror. What is it that you’re avoiding that you’ve been needing to do in your business? What are you not taking care of within yourself or relationships? The issues we see in our business are a direct reflection of what we’re not managing internally. Take a deep hard look in the mirror and start asking for help.
12. Not Taking or Accepting Help
Source: (See DIYitis) Lack of trust. Fear of burdening others. Fear of disappointing others.
Symptoms: Overwhelmed. Low energy. Dejected. Feeling like a failure.
Remedy: Stock Your Shelves. Just like in a supermarket, you’re going to do an inventory check. What are you feeling low or out of supply in? Motivation, support, a hug? Note what you need and then look at your supplies. Who around you can support you in restocking your shelves? Reach out and ask for exactly what you need. I guarantee you’ve got a long line of people ready to help you!
13. Expecting Success to Come Easy with Minimal Effort
Source: Instagram-Insta-Success Stories. Comparison. Instant Gratification.
Symptoms: Lack of patience. Frustration at delays. Anger. Dejectedness. Impulsive decision making. Quick-fix program purchases.
Remedy: Build Your Blueprint. What does success look like for you? How long will it really take to get there? What resources do you need to support it? What daily, weekly, monthly tasks do you need to support it? What’s your contingency plan if it doesn’t work out?
The Key to Successfully Overcoming Entrepreneurial Pitfalls
The key is to think on a longer timeline. You may have daily wins and challenges, but your business will hopefully have a longer shelf-life than 2 weeks. Patience is the key.
If you have overnight success, the bar gets set even higher next time and the chances of disappointment are even greater. Start smaller and build from there. Consistency, patience, and follow through are your best friends.
It’s not sexy, but neither is losing everything and living on your mom’s couch.
100 Days of Blogging: 7 Lessons Learned
The Tuesday after Labor Day, my boyfriend left for Barcelona for a week with his mom on their annual vacation. After getting over the initial funk of being left behind, I decided to take advantage of this new found free time.
It had been over a year since I wrote with real substance. I was on my way to finishing two books when it all came crashing down. A personal story I shared with a family member was passed along to other family members and blew up in my face. In retrospect, I was sharing my diary and that wasn't meant for anyone else's consumption. I always loved to write - even term papers in school. I would love to feel the slight resistance of the keys under my finger tips and got giddy watching the screen fill with words. I missed my old friend.
With a relatively open calendar, I decided to embark on a long-term challenge - write every day. What started as a 30-Day Blog Challenge quickly evolved into 100 days. People thought I was crazy or that I would quit. Like most people I lost interest pretty quickly in challenges, but this was different. This was an opportunity to spark my creativity, increase my accountability and share my thoughts and opinions.
I wrote about relationships, business, life hacks, time management and my dog. Whatever I was passionate about at the moment, I wrote it down. My workouts and walks soon became opportunities to brainstorm new topics. My friends and clients inspired advice-based posts. I saw the world and myself in a new way. I became a writer.
I can now say that my writer's block is resolved and I've created two e-books as a result of the blog with more on the way. I am comfortable in front of a keyboard and love writing again!
Here are the Blog Stats By the Numbers:
Total Word Count Over 100 days: 37,999 words (damn it, I just needed one more word for 38,000!)
Average Word Count Per Post: 379 words
Longest Blog: 977 words (http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/10-things-you-should-and-shouldnt-do-when-starting-a-business?rq=should%20and%20shouldn%27t)
Shortest Blog: 169 words (http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/6wzyipmv9tpwbp1ms05hqsq5mt71m3)
My Favorite Blog: http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/6wzyipmv9tpwbp1ms05hqsq5mt71m3
Most Read Blog: http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/10-things-you-should-and-shouldnt-do-when-starting-a-business?rq=should%20and%20shouldn%27t
This wasn't all fun and self-realization. I learned some hard lessons along the way.
Lessons Learned
1) Proofread Before Posting. My mind works faster than my fingers and at times I skip over words and “ings” or “ed.” I'm pretty sure each post had at least two errors in it, which my mom was happy to point out. I've since tried to go back through and fix the glaring errors. When posting every day, time is of the essence and in my opinion it doesn't need to be perfect to be done.
2) I’m human. I make mistakes and if you judge me based on my spelling or grammatical errors, I challenge you to a 100-Day Blog Duel! Do you accept?? In all seriousness, human error is a real thing. I've learned to be more patient and less judgmental when I see errors in other people's work.
3) Doing Something Every Day Can Be A Challenge, But Anything is Possible. Even with workouts and diet, I was never on every day. I actually thought I may have to skip a day or two, but fortunately I could plan out my week to schedule a post or two if I knew I was going to be busy. I love a good contingency plan! This was no exception.
4) Not Everyone Cares That You’re Writing a Blog. Blogs are like opinions and podcasts (I have one of those too!), everyone has them and some are more in your face than others. It’s up to you what you decide to spend your time on. I hope I provided value, if not, then entertainment. On the same note, don't get wrapped up into the visits or reads of your post. I got more excited hearing from the one person who read a post and learned from it than the 200 people who read and said nothing.
5) I Say I Won’t Do This Again, But We All Know It’s a Lie. This was a huge undertaking and I’m pretty tapped out from writing. I’ll take a break and reassess where I want to use my time and energy in the future. (2 Months Later.... I'm back at writing, but not as a daily practice or challenge.)
6) Not Every Post is My Favorite, But They’re Mine. I guess blogging is like having a lot of kids. Some are cuter than others. Some help you. Some are jerks. Some you wish never happened, but they all come from you and for that you love them! (Can you tell I’m not a parent?)
7) I’m Capable of More Than I Think. Yes, I pushed myself and maxed out my energy. This was a challenge to break out of my judgment and restraint around writing. That has certainly been busted into a million pieces. I am a writer. I am a blogger. I am a coach. I am awesome.
I can’t believe this challenge is over. It’s bittersweet, which sounds so cliché. It’s been my weekend writing ritual and my morning posting routine. It’s been my outlet of expression and door to connect with others. It allowed me to take risks and say what was on my mind. It also left me wide open to judgment and criticism. It was a constant reminder to stay on my path, but also served as a distraction to other important aspects like self-care and focusing on core business practices.
It’s been a journey and I’m happy I took the first step. So here’s a giant high-five to me!
My 2018 Business Goals
Earlier today I designed a graphic for a client representing her dream life in 10 years. She's a public figure and wants to expand her reach into the media world. I immediately thought of designing her a magazine cover. It was awesome (she thought so too!). I sent it over and wondered why I hadn't done it for myself.
Like most inspirational tools I design, they are inspired by my clients. I actually really love developing visual tools to help them see their progress, goals, and ideal images. I've created an Ideal Leader, Ideal Client, Life Map, Value Compass and now 10-Year Dream Board Image.
So I designed myself one for 2018 with my goals. I'm going big, because why the hell not?! I'm big on setting intentions and sharing it with others. So if you're reading this and you want to be a part of me making big moves in 2018, you can get started in 2017!
Here is the image.
2018 Goals
Make it on a magazine cover
Known as "Spitting Some Fire" in my "Super Fucking Magical Coaching" and hosting "The SpitFire Podcast"
25+ Paid Speaking Gigs
15 Active Clients Per Month
2 Published Books
The SpitFire Podcast is killing it in downloads and sponsorship
Ongoing referrals for Confidence and Leadership Training for Existing and Emerging CEOs
I live by the motto "If It's Not Fun, Why Do It?!
I am a catalyst of positive change
I help people take care of themselves, so they can take care of business.
Quadruple 2017 Revenue
Before 2018 is here, I'd love to see your goals. Feel free to post them in the comment section or email it to me lauren@laurenlemunyan.com
“I’m So Busy, But I Can’t Get Anything Done”
Thank you for submitting your ideas to the 100-Day Blog Facebook Page. This was the highest rated topic, so here goes.
You wake up and check your calendar and your task list that seems to have doubled in size in your sleep. When are you going to get it done? Where are you going to find the energy? This is impossible! AHHHHH!
Sound familiar?
Congratulations, you are a part of an exclusive group of everyone who hasn’t learned the power of “No.”
Let’s take a look at your current list.
1) Grab three colored highlighters.
2) Next to each item:
a. Highlight the urgent things that must be done today or the world will end in one color.
b. In the second color, circle the items that can be done today, but most likely can wait for another day this week.
c. In the third color, underline the items that can either be delegated or done next week.
3) Now let’s focus on the highlighted items. Next to each item, note how much time you realistically think it will take to get it done.
4) If you don’t know the time required, you need more clarity around what it will take to the accomplish the task. Is it a series of phone calls, additional research, waiting for a response? Whatever it is, make a note of what you need apply effort to the items you can actually do.
5) Focus on the top line items that can be knocked out easiest.
If you’re still feeling bogged down, it may be your language. I’ve mentioned before the “Range of Engagement.”
Can’t/Won’t - - Have to - - Need to – Choose to/Want to
Look at the words you’re using to talk about your day. If you aren’t in the “Choose to/Want to” your energy and motivation is leaking out with every thought you have around the task. If you want to feel empowered to do something, think about how it contributes to something you want to do. This item is the gatekeeper to your next choice for yourself.
When we think of things we have to do or can’t do, we are in reactive mode with life being thrusted upon us. That sounds awful and exhausting!
So if you’re too “busy,” what do you need to prioritize and what can you let go or delegate? If you aren’t energized about doing it, how can you approach it differently or ask for help from to help support you.
Being “busy” is a choice, so when you’re ready to make different choices, you’ll be able to get more of the things you want to get done checked off your list.