How to Make it as a Full-Time Coach in a Saturated Market

(Originally posted on June 4, 2019 and updated on January 22, 2020 for freshness and relevance)

The Not So Pretty Truth About Coaching

(and what you can do about it)

In the summer of 2016, I took the plunge and walked away from an 11-year career in association management. I had traveled the world, managed teams, turned organizations around and built amazing relationships. But something was missing and no matter how many associations I added to my portfolio, I couldn’t get that feeling I used to have.

I had run over fifty meetings and brought in hundreds of thousands of dollars, it could’ve been millions, but the chase that used to get me excited dimmed out over time. So, after hitting my own personal wall (you can read more about it in Spitting Fire), I decided to get certified as a coach and leave my career to go at it full-time.

Ah those were the good ol’ naïve years where I thought I could bring in six figures in the first year and people would be banging down my door to work with me. After working with a client who was definitely not the right fit, the pool of clients dried up quickly. And that’s when the panic set in.

“What have I done?” 

“Is it too late to get my job back?”

“How long can I live off of my savings?”

First lesson…

Know your numbers and your threshold for emotional, energetic and financial risk.

In month two I was tempted to take on a full-time job back in the association world. Thankfully the decision-making process of the Board of Directors took long enough for me snap out of the financial-safety day dream. I took on a couple more clients by the end of the year and made a modest $13,000.

To be honest I was happier being out of a toxic work environment and not crying every night in those first few months. But then the reality of a $2,000 rent, health insurance, dog expenses, and the other essentials like food and utilities snapped me into a true Oh Shit! Moment.

Then like the universe heard exactly what I needed, a friend and fellow coach swooped in and asked when I was getting my ACC credential (ACC credentials are through the International Coach Federation and require 100 certified hours – 75 of which are paid). I hadn’t even though about it until she opened my eyes to CORPORATE CONTRACTS. It was like the clouds parted and the sun started shining all over me. Gone were the business development struggles. Gone were the hurt feelings when a client left. Gone were the headaches of billing. 

“This is it! I’ve made it!” I thought to myself.

Lesson two…

One opportunity is not going to make or break your business. It’s up to you to attract in and manage a diverse selection of opportunities.

I gathered all of my coaching hours and realized I only needed a few more to apply for my ACC. Within two weeks, I applied and passed the exam and had my ACC. 

“Now everyone will want to work with me, an ACC certified coach!”

Oh, sweet little naïve me! Looking back, I want to give her a hug and stroke her hair, but business owner me had some serious lessons to learn.

I wore those three letters in every conversation. “I’m a CERTIFIED ACC COACH,” assuming anyone other than a coach would have any idea what I was talking about.

The disappointment grew when my monthly numbers were barely covering my rent. In an effort to cash hoard, I began charging my rent on my credit card along with everything else. This continued for eight months until I had amassed $17,000 in credit card debt. I share this with you not as a bragging note, but to be real with you. Whether this was a mistake or not is up to the eye of the beholder. All I know is seeing money in my bank account felt much better than a low balance on a credit card statement (and I sure did love the 2% cash back).

The corporate contract that was supposed to make my year, was in a pilot program and took almost the year to get going. In my head I would be making bank, but in reality, it covered my health insurance.

Time to put matters into my own hands. The fire got lit under my behind to start reaching out to other business owners and coaches to get out of my head and my apartment. I clearly wasn’t going to solve this cash flow problem on my own, so why not interact with some cool chicks.

Lesson 3…

You can only get so far on your own. Reach out and connect to the people that want to see you succeed.

I began facilitating the Socialpreneurs on Capitol Hill with six women in different stages of business who met once a month. We let our guard down, asked for help and offered support. Maybe it was how I showed up or maybe I stopped being so desperate, but whatever it was, that group brought me two new clients at an increased rate.

“I’ve made it! My niche is now small business owners.”

I updated my website and changed my packages. I switched from SpitFire Coach to Lauren LeMunyan Coaching to be more appealing to the masses and anyone who owned an LLC would get the acronym and logo design.

I brought in a few more clients and learned a very critical lesson… number 4 in fact

Do not offer discounts or favors to friends until after the full-price transaction has been agreed and/or paid

Why you ask? When you offer a lower rate or do things as a favor, the other person may expect this rate to continue and may not value your services at the valuation you would offer to someone else. It may feel more like an obligation or something you should do.

I felt almost a debt to this person and the more they asked for things, the more I caved in and did it. I hoped that they would reciprocate, but when the requests kept coming, I finally hit a wall and shut down. Sadly, that relationship is now null and void.

My insecurities and doubts as a business owner were leaking into every decision and conversation I was making.

From obsessing over website verbiage to changing package pricing and even bouncing back and forth with my target audience based on who hired me, my confusion was making my crazy and causing me to lose money.

Then in year 2 of business, I woke up. I reengaged with my fellow engine coach and got clear on financial goals and daily intentions. I got back to who I was and who I wanted to be. That’s when The SpitFire Coach as a brand was relaunched. It’s also when I stopped making excuses for not writing a book and got to it. I kept using the book as the block for not speaking at conferences, not working in corporate, and not making more money.

One day at 2:00am, it all hit me. It’s time to write the book. Within six weeks, the book poured out of me. I pledged to myself that I would only work when I was inspired, and I would stop when I was tired. I’m happy to report that I kept my word and published “Spitting Fire: Your Guide to Reignite and Maintain Your Passion at Home, Work and Beyond” in August 2018.

This leads me to lesson five:

A book does not make you an expert, but it does make a very handy business card.

The more clarity I got around my vision and core values, the more I detached from the outcome. The book was never about monetary sales or media exposure. My goal was to help person – and that person was me. Publishing the book gave me the confidence to apply for speaking opportunities, have honest conversations with strangers, and ultimately believe in myself as a SpitFire.

To date, I have spoken at over 40 events and have sold over 2000 copies of Spitting Fire.

After almost four years in business, I am amazed at the success I have achieved. I have worked with over 200 professional clients located around the globe including Hong Kong, South Africa, Spain, Scotland, Brazil, Canada and 12 states in the US. I’m working with business owners, emerging leaders and professionals looking to start their next opportunity. I’ve logged over 1200 certified hours and now have my PCC with my eyes set on the MCC within two years. Last year I more than doubled what I made the previous year, shattered the 6-figure mark, and wiped out my debt.

I’ve made amazing connections with other coaches and look forward to building incredible opportunities. What I’m most proud of is the trickle-down effect of the tools and skills my clients have learned and are able to now teach to their teams.

And for my final lesson…

When you believe in yourself, anything is possible if you’re willing to put in the time and energy.

Owning a business is not for the impatient, greedy or ego-centric. Give yourself the space to create, reflect and adjust. Give yourself the kindness when you get knocked down. And most importantly, give yourself a celebration when you succeed in your vision!

5 Keys to Brain Picking Etiquette

So You Want to Pick My Brain…

Here’s what you need to know before making a major networking faux pas.

This post goes out to all of my self-employed business owners, consultants, coaches, musicians, artists, and creators - those brave souls who have left the security of a guaranteed paycheck to pursue their passion and build their dreams.

This topic has been a source of annoyance, frustration and all out rage. Rather than continuing to bitch and man, I felt inspired to convert this negative feeling to a learning opportunity. Let’s put it all out on the table - the good, the bad, the ugly, and so we can figure out what we can do about it.

The truth is self-employed people need to connect and build relationships to feed their business development pipeline. We collaborate with people in and out of our expertise. We meet with potential clients and people who broker relationships.

But what if our open-door policy to connecting could be hurting our business?

Let’s talk about the etiquette of brain picking.

It seems harmless and helpful, but this act of non-compensated solicitation of expertise has a dark side.

Let’s start with a little story.

As a coach with a presence on social media, I got contacted on a monthly basis. Some were coaches, some were people wanting to be coaches and some wanted free advice.

It comes in as:

“Hey can you chat?”

“My friend wants to be a coach, can you talk to them?”

“Can we meet for coffee?”

“So can I pick you brain?

When these requests first started to come in, I thought, “awesome a new coach to work with” or “woohoo a new potential client”. I’d adjust my schedule and meet them where they were, spending 3–4 hours commuting round trip and meeting where it was convenient for them. I’d spend money on Ubers and coffee and lunch.

After the veneer of flattery wore off, I realized that I had just given away my time, resources and expertise AND even paid for it. I had willingly given away my power. I felt like I had been duped. How could I have been so far off from expectation to reality?

Then I got honest and asked myself:

What did I want my networking and business development to look and feel like?

Who did I want to meet with? Who didn’t I want to meet with?

How many people could I reasonably meet with in a week or month while maintaining my current load of clients?

What was I willing to share?

What was I not willing to share?

What was triggering me about getting my brain picked?

I have huge values (I’m mean HUGE) around time, efficiency and connection. I believe in reciprocity which can come in referrals, expertise, currency, heavy lifting, coffee, lunch etc. Brain-picking felt very one-sided and empty. I felt used.

Not every interaction was negative, but some left me with a bad taste in my mouth or even a migraine.

What made the difference in the interactions?

Boundaries. In the situations where there weren’t clear expectations or objectives for meeting it felt like a gray area where I lost my power. I felt taken advantage of and pissed off.

So I decided to Ieverage technology in my scheduling process and instituted new boundaries. I gave people a scheduling link where they had the option to either meet by phone or Zoom for 30 minutes at a time and then I had a box for that person to fill out what they wanted to chat about.

Pure admission, I didn’t put that field in (thank you Acuity Scheduling), but I learned that it was a tell-tale sign of whether I was going to feel appreciated and valued or if I felt like my brain was going to get pillaged.

The people who bypassed the field, talked in circles or at me and didn’t have a clear focus on what they wanted or needed.

The people who were thoughtful and had clear questions, were respectful of time boundaries and came with a clear question or request.

If they wanted more than 30 minutes or to meet in person, I gave them an option to book a strategy session or consultation. When I first started this process, I feared that people would think I was a bitch (and some might), but more surprisingly, it invited more serious players into my world.

Prospective coaching clients fill out an application prior to a consult and potential partners answer a simple questionnaire before scheduling a time.

What to do instead of Brain-Picking:

1) Ask a Clear Question — What do you want to know and why?

2) Offer to Pay for Services You’ve Rendered — What is a fair price for the advice, knowledge, training you’ve received?

3) Google It — Try to figure it out on your own. If you don’t know what to search for see item 1.

4) Take an Online Course — If you know what you’re looking for and need guidance, there are tons of step-by-step videos on YouTube and other online platforms like Teachable and Udemy. If you still have questions, see item 1

5) Prepare an Agenda and Share it With the Other Person — All relationships breakdown from unmet expectations.

When you’re clear about what you want to cover and when, it shows the other person that you’re serious and have your thoughts together.

If you are a small business owner and paying isn’t in the budget, offer a reciprocation in referrals or write a testimonial.

If you work for a large and established company, pay people. It’s good karma and the abundance elves will pay dividends on your good deeds.

Ultimately our time is valuable, so the more prepared and proactive we are, the more present we can be and the more power we can produce.

I encourage you to look at your business development inquiry process and see where the energy leak spots are. What could you do differently to honor your boundaries and values?

My final words… Stop Requesting to “Pick My Brain” and Start Asking for What You Really Want to Know

30-Day Gratitude Challenge

In the US we celebrate Thanksgiving on the last Thursday of the month. This year it's the 28th. We get together with family and friends, eat until we're ready to burst, and nap along to football.

Some families have a tradition to go around the table and share what they're thankful for - health, a promotion, friends, family.

Or maybe you're like my family and you're happy to get through a meal without an argument.

What if we didn't need a day to remind us to be thankful? What if we could incorporate gratitude into our daily practice?

Let's Make a Daily Gratitude Pledge for November

Here's some inspiration to achieve a daily gratitude practice:

1) Say thank you to a co-worker, stranger, friend and/or family
2) Send a note of appreciation to a colleague at work
3) Share an experience with someone that showed up for you
4) Express what you see in other people that you admire
5) Make cookies and write a special note for a friend
6) Call a friend and sing the "Golden Girls" theme song
7) Keep a daily gratitude log without repeating for 30 days
8) Accept help that is offered and thank them
9) Look for the little wins
10) Seek the lessons even when things don't go your way

How Baby Shark Created a Winning Team Culture

From that time that I was four years old, I was a baseball fan. My stepdad was a baseball coach for youth 16 and 17-year-olds and every weekend and sometimes week nights, we would spend our time in the dugout keeping score, in the concession stands selling hot dogs or in the bleachers selling 50/50 tickets. 

At home the Yankees were a permanent resident on our tv. In the car, AM radio kept us up to date on their progress.

When they weren’t in season, I was known to rock a Mattingly or Jeter t-shirt. I thought I was a fan.

In 2015 I moved back to DC after living in Houston and Las Vegas and decided to move into the neighborhood adjacent of the new Nationals baseball stadium. From our roof top we could see the lights of the advertisement and sometimes could hear the roar of the crowd.

I frequented games with my neighbor, not because I was interested, but because the last-minute tickets were cheap, and it was a good excuse to yell and cheer.

Three years ago, I was lucky enough to see my first playoff game. We didn’t make it past the first round, but I have the hat to prove it.

This season felt like every other Nationals season. We resigned ourselves to another losing season. Bryce Harper left us to go to the Phillies, so how could we possibly go anywhere?

Our record by mid-season wasn’t looking great. We won a few games and lost a few – nothing to write home about. And then something changed. We started to win consistently. We started to believe we could make it to the Wild Card series.

And then something huge swam up to the surface…

Outfielder Gerardo Parra, at the request of his daughter, changed his walk-up song to “Baby Shark”. If you’re a parent, you’ve probably had nightmares of this song playing on repeat. But no one cringed when the song started to play. Everyone lost their mind and started to dance and sing along. 

Special claps wer created, starting with the thumb and index finger to make a mini clap for a small, yet impactful play (Baby Shark), then came the wrists connected full-hand clap to signify a base hit (Mommy Shark) and then the full body chomp clap for a homerun or scoring run (Daddy Shark).

Without explaining the meaning, players and fans joined in. People began wearing shark costumes and making shirts and signs. Everyone was in on it.

In the dugouts, players shared their sentiments through their symbolic claps brining giggles to on air commentators and spectators alike.

As Baby Shark took off, the team unified in their quest to take a bite out of their opponents. Couple that with their mutual support of “Best Shape of Their Lives” response to everyone question about what shape (blank) is in, and the confidence, morale and energy began to soar.

The Nationals, in a shock to all of us, beat the LA Dodgers, and had us shaking our heads wondering could this be the year?!

Without returning home from LA, The Nats took on the St. Louis Cardinals after a travel day and won. Then came game 2 and they won. Game 3 was set back in DC. I was happy to watch from home by myself, but at 7pm I got a text from that same neighbor I went to games with that they had a ticket free up.

 I’ve never moved so fast jumping in my car and driving 20 minutes (without traffic woohoo!), parking my car and sprinting to the stadium only missing half of the first inning.

The stadium was electric, the energy was palpable. We all whispered in hush tones. “Is this really happening?”  “Could this be our year?”

The cheers, claps and chomps filled the stadium as we rocketed to an 8-1 victory in game 3.

“Are we going to sweep them???” we wondered.

Then came Game 4 the next night. In the first inning with a series of unfortunate bloopers and a steady stream of hits, the Nationals jumped to a 7-0 lead. But then the Cardinals started to score without a response scoring 4 runs up to the 7th inning. Fans got worried. Heads were in hands or hands were covering mouths in disbelief.

And then the manager of the Nationals did something brilliant – he called Gerardo Parra to the plate. Nothing like some Baby Shark to turn things around. Adults in shark costumes began dancing and the entire stadium began chomping with their arms in unison. Things began to feel different.

Parra hit a single and that was the morale boost the players and the fans needed to lock in a 7-4 victory and ensure a ticket to the franchise’s first World Series!

As we await the results of the Astros-Yankees facing off in the ALCS, 10-year-old me is bursting with excitement to see the Baby Sharks (Nationals) go against my beloved childhood team.

Can anything stop the power of a united and fun front? We’ll wait and see.

Here are the Key Elements that Made a Simple Children’s Song Into a Powerful Movement

1. Simplicity - The song is simple and the movements are simple

2. Fun - You can’t pretend to be a baby, mommy or daddy shark and not enjoy yourself

3. Consistency - No matter how small the effort, players stepped in with their bite-sized to full chomp cheers

4. Celebration - The movements of the sharks allowed each player to be highlighted in team-based fashion

How can you bring a little Baby Shark into your team?

7 Areas of Self-Care

September is officially Self-Care Month and what better time to take a closer look at how you can take better care of your whole self. It’s not just about going to the spa and unplugging but looking at the many dimensions that make up your most wonderful self.

Here are 7 Areas of Self-Care and How You Can Care for Each:

Physical

How we move, fuel and treat our body

• Involves moving your body (exercise)

• Eating well balanced meals (nutrition)

• Sleeping

• Flossing

• Drinking Water

• Managing Stress

• Going to the doctor for preventative care

• Going to the dentist

Social

How we connect with others

• Having a strong social network of support

• Asking for support

• Reaching out for check ins or a laugh

• Carving out time to get together

• Letting go of relationships that don’t serve you

Environmental

How you care for your external environment

• Organizing and cleaning up your bedroom, kitchen, or bathroom

• Recycling 

• Donating clothes you don’t use

• Weeding, cleaning up the back yard

• Letting go of things that don’t serve you

Financial

How you invest and care for your present and future money

• Living within your financial means

• Planning for financial health

• Determining wants v. needs

• Contributing to savings

• Keeping your word with your budget

Emotional

How we express and channel our feelings

• Sharing how we feel with trusted network of friends

• Journaling

• Asking for what we need

• Requesting and receiving help

• Allowing feelings to be felt

Intellectual

How we engage our mental curiosity

• Explore new ideas

• Learn a new skill

• Try a new approach

• Read for pleasure

• Research a new concept

• Ask curious questions

Spiritual

How we process and understand our beliefs, values and ethics

• Meditation

• Quiet time spent writing and questioning

Self-Care doesn’t need to be time-consuming or expensive. It is a choice that puts your care at the forefront, so that you can show up at your best for others and yourself. The act of the choice in itself is self-care, so feel free to create your own list of activities and most importantly HAVE FUN!

The Career Shift Limbo: How Low Should You Go?

Ask The SpitFire Coach

Question:

When changing career paths, how low is too low to aim? I’m looking at jobs in a different industry and I have 14yrs business experience, but limited experience in this specific field. Should I start at entry level or is it acceptable to expect to come in at my current level?

Answer:

I hear a version of this question come up a lot and it’s one that I wrestled with when I was at my last corporate job. In my first year, I knew I was unhappy, but had convinced myself that my role in association management wasn’t transferrable into other industries. Every job post I got excited about, I talked myself out of because I didn’t think I had relevant experience.

I stayed with in that role for eleven years until I believed I could do more and deserved more – that’s when I became a coach.

Women especially struggle with this issue, the data backs it up. According to the article ‘Why Women Don’t Apply for Jobs Unless They’re 100% Qualified‘, typically men will apply for a job after only meeting 60% of the qualifications on the job description, while women are more hesitant and will only apply after meeting all 100% of the qualifications. 

Let’s get out of the story and get into the facts

You have 14 years of business experience. You are not starting from scratch. You get to choose what you do.

By the tone of your question, I’m sensing a surrender or loss of power. It’s up to you to tell the story and give the evidence on when you’d be a good fit. If you need to take a class or get a certification to feel more relevant or desirable to that industry or company – go for it.

Starting from the bottom in most industries means a dramatic pay cut and ego hit. 

Here are some questions to ponder:

1. What’s the potential payoff with this position? 

2. What do you expect this position to give you that you don’t already have? 

3. How long are you willing to stick it out if there’s no growth? Is the potential sacrifice worth what you think you’ll gain?

Before you make a decision on what positions to apply for, I’d like you to do a little exercise:

1)   Print out your resume, a job description at your current level in the new industry and a job description at an entry level position in the new industry.

2)   Go through the job description at your current level and see what experience on your resume matches. If there’s a match, put a check mark. If there’s a gap, circle it. If you know you have the experience, but don’t have it on your resume, put a ? next to it.

3)   Do the same steps with the entry level job description.

4)   What do you notice?

Maybe your resume needs some updating. Maybe there are some classes you can take. Maybe you’re more qualified than you think…

If you have a question you’d like answered, email hello@spitfirecoach.com.

5 Tips for Every Day Wellness

We’re going to keep it short and sweet because time is valuable - especially your time.

Here are Your 5 Tips for Every Day Wellness

1) Set Your Intention- How do you want to feel today? What do you want to attract in? Create a statement with "I am _______" instead of "I will" or "I am going to"

2) Listen to Your Body -Feel parched? Have a glass of water. Feeling uninspired? Switch up your activity? Have tension in your neck? Go stretch. Your body is an amazing system telling you what you need to focus on to feel better.

3) Schedule Time for You- Think you don't have time for wellness? What you if you could schedule 5, 10, 20 minutes to focus on you. What would that do for you? Once you come up with your activities, put them in your calendar and set a timer.

4) Recruit a Wellness Buddy -The best way to stay on track is to have someone enjoy in it too. Whether it's a walk, a massage or a yoga class, bring a friend into your Wellness Journey.

5) Keep it Reasonable -Start small. There is no race to wellness. It's a practice and the more reasonable you are, the more likely you are to keep it up and look forward to your practice.

Need some more accountability? Check out this awesome 31-Day Wellness Month Challenge Calendar form @wellness_month. You can follow them on Instagram or download your own copy here: http://www.wellnessmonth.com/home-temp/

So You Want to Be a Boss? 5 Words to Remove from Your Vocabulary ASAP

Are the words that are coming out or your mouth or through your keyboard holding you back from success? Your words have power and your selection of some words may be keeping you from succeeding.

If you want to be respected, taken seriously and considered for a leadership position, I highly recommend removing these 5 words from your vocabulary immediately and why.

1.       Nice

Whether you’re the “Nice Girl” or “Nice Guy” or think you need to be, this word is a power diluter. When your focus is on being nice it’s about other’s perception of you. It puts you and your value in the backseat and puts other’s assumed demands in the driver’s seat. If you’re not nice, then who are you? Probably pretty interesting. Try replacing it with kind, philanthropic, compassionate.

2.       Fine

Nothing is more passive aggressive than responding with “Fine.” It’s dismissive and says, “I hear you, but I don’t agree with you, but I don’t want to offend you, so I’m not going to be honest and say what I really think.”  If someone asks how you are and you respond with, “I’m fine.”, it cuts off the interaction at the shins. Try replacing it with full and honest thoughts. If you need to take some time to process, take the time, but don’t replace it with Fine.

3.       Good

The cousin of Fine, good is a flat generalized response. If a team member asks what you thought about a project or performance and you respond with “It was good.”, it signals a lack of engagement or interest. If you must use Good, make sure you back it up with specific feedback about the question. If you don’t think it’s Good, be honest about areas of improvement.

4.       Kinda

Spellcheck doesn’t even acknowledge Kinda as a word, but we’ll make an exception. Chances are you aren’t using this in written communication, but when kinda creeps in at the Board table, it devalues every point and perception of authority you built up. Kinda signals that you aren’t sure about what you’re thinking or saying. That smidget of self-doubt is enough to plant seeds of questioning with your audience. If you are unsure, say you’ll check in on that and get back to them, but under no circumstance should you say “I kinda think that…”.

5.       Just

I am completely guilty about using the word a lot and I cringe every time I catch myself doing it. Usually it’s in the form of “Just checking in” and while my intention is to not seem like I’m interrupting, it comes off as apologetic and meek, which is not who I am. You’re not “just” doing something. You ARE doing it. So when you see that pesky just poking it’s head up in your conversations and emails, delete it!

As you build your strength as a leader, these words and phrases will be replaced with confident statements, curious questions and thoughtful reflection. Stay in the moment with your team and listen to your inner voice and trust it. You’ve got this!

9 Tips to Prevent a Webinar Snafu

I recently sat in on a Webinar with one of my favorite service providers, which is why it pains me to write this. IT WAS A DISASTER!

The Webinar didn’t start for 13 minutes beyond when it promised to start.

The Moderator was staring off in the distance 45 degrees from the camera.

The Chat feature kept bleeping every time someone posted (and there were 20 bleepin’ bleeps a minute)

The Chat had nothing to do with questions or comments on the presentation. They were about not being able to hear or see (or hearing those bleeping bleeps).

The presentation screen was in a grid of four and what were supposed to see as an instructional walk through was so small, you couldn’t understand what the steps were.

The presenter was in the weeds. Between Woo Commerce, Facebook Pixels, and Google Chrome, I had no idea what her point was and what it had to do with scheduling a call.

Because the Webinar started so late, the call went well over the scheduled time.

I could keep going, but I’ll just chalk it up to a major disappointment. I was distracted, frustrated and did not learn what I thought I would. If you want to keep your audience’s attention on a Webinar, here are a few tips to keep them engaged and raving fans.

1)      Test in Advance – Do not wait for the day of to test your Webinar platform. Have your colleagues go through the same process as your attendees. If you can get a run through with your presenter(s), even better!

2)      See it from the Audience’s Perspective – What is easy about the process? What is challenging and confusing? What annoys the crap out of you when you’re attending a Webinar.

3)      Create a Day of Check List – Are you recording? Have you muted the participant lines? Have you set up your presenter with the right permissions? When are you reminding participants on the login details (also include if the slides and recording will be sent out)?

4)      Turn Off Distractions – Silence alerts and announcements on the platform. It takes a split second for you to lose your audience if you can’t create a focused environment.

5)      Assign a Chat Moderator – If you are moderating the call, make sure your attention is on the presenter or the presentation. Ask for a volunteer to field questions on the chat related to the basics. You can even give them an FAQ to help with responses.

6)      Start on Time! Nothing irks people more than a late start time. Starting on time is a form of respect and the later you are the less your audience will trust you and the less likely they will be to come back.

7)      End on Time! People have things to do. Honor their time and throw them a bone by ending a couple minutes early.

8)      Keep Your Word – Deliver what you promise in your promotions. Keep your word on deadlines of when you’ll send recordings and materials.

9)      Ask for Feedback and Listen to It – All feedback is useful when you’re ready to hear it. Apply what you can and communicate that you’ve listened.

I ran Webinars for trade associations for 11 years. I’ve had to deal with a complete platform shutdown, a dead phone line and a snarky audience member. These are things you can’t prepare for, but the 9 items I listed are completely in your control!

Don’t be a Webinar Wreck! You’ve got this!

5 Reasons Why New Year's Resolutions Fail (And What You Can Do About It)

5-4-3-2-1 Happy New Year!!!
Woohoo we made it to another year filled with hope, motivation and a laundry list of the things we’d like to change. You’ve bought the new workout apparel, stocked our fridges full of healthy food and bought enough self-improvement books to keep you busy for months. You’re committed to the new you and know you will succeed!

I want you to succeed. I really do. But unfortunately those resolutions are heading for Disappointmentville, USA in about 4-6 weeks.

By mid-February those packed treadmills are collecting dust and those healthy eating habits are replaced more convenient calorie-dense options because meal prep is just way too hard! I don’t mean to rain on your parade, but I do want to give it to you straight.

I’m going to give you the top 5 reasons why New Years Resolutions Fail and what you can do about it.
 
#1: Your Goals Were Too Big – “But all of the blogs and influencers on Instagram tell me to dream big!”

Yes, you should have a growth mindset and think beyond your horizon, but when goals are too big, we set our expectations too high and can’t cope when we can’t keep up with them. 

For example if your resolution is to workout at the gym every day and you push yourself too hard on Day 1, you’re going to be super sore and frustrated that you are unable to have those killer workouts. (After the third day you should be feeling better FYI).

What you can do about it: Write your goal down and break it into daily, weekly and monthly goals. What do you need to be successful? What’s a reasonable, stretch and all-out-effort goal?
 

#2: Your Goals Were Too General – “But if I’m too specific, it will limit my success.” 

Being too general lacks direction and energy. It’s like the vanilla ice cream of the flavor line. Without a clearer vision of what you want, you’ll be circling around hoping that your specific goal pops up. Unfortunately you’ll waste a lot of time, energy and patience in the process and will move on to something easier and more gratifying.

What you can do about it: Close your eyes and envision yourself being successful. What do you see around you? What have you accomplished? How do you feel? Who helped you in the process? How did they help you?
 
#3: You Don’t Know Why You’re Doing It – “Yes, I do! All of the commercials tell me this diet is the best way to lose a lot of weight.” 

Ah yes, the good ole external influence and validation. We convince ourselves that it’s a great idea, but we don’t really know why we’re doing it. We see others do it and it looks easy for them, so we assume it will be easy for us. Unfortunately we don’t see the time, effort and planning needed to change old, nasty habits. Additionally, when goals come from outside of us, we can often get stuck in a comparison loop where we don’t feel like we’re good enough or doing it right.

Resolutions aren’t there to make you feel bad – they’re there to inspire you to be your best self!

What you can do about it: If it feels like your resolutions are coming from outside of you, give yourself some quiet time. It could be as little as ten minutes. When you have that space, ask yourself what do you want and why do you want it? If it keeps coming back to other people or other expectations, keep asking yourself. Make sure you have a paper and pen nearby to capture your thoughts.
 
#4: It Wasn’t Really a Priority – “Umm scrap-booking is extremely important, and I’m offended that you don’t think that I think it’s a priority!” 

I’m sure those boxes of photos that have been sitting in your closet for five years are a huge priority in your life. This is what we would classify as a nice to get done, but if you’re not motivated to get it done in June, what makes you’ll get it done now? When we have lingering projects that we never seem to get done, it adds additional pressure and stress that demotivates us further.

What you can do about it: If scrap-booking is important to you, connect it to a fun goal or an inner value. Maybe scrap-booking represents a connection to your family or allows you to feel creative. When you feel inspired, create the space and time to get it done. If it feels like a chore, you’re going to treat it like a punishment, so have a little fun and enjoy the process.
 
#5: You Don’t Think You Deserve It – “Ouch! That’s a tough pill to swallow.” 

I know this can be a hard thing to hear and admit, but let’s be honest with one another. If you thought you were worth it, would you need a proclamation and broadcast to make the change. I’ve seen this happen time and time again with my clients and friends. The ones who are the loudest and most visible about “going to make a change” are the least likely to keep it up.

What you can do about it: Do you believe you are worth the effort? I hope you do and if so, own that confidence and create your plan with a buddy or two to help you motivated and to have more fun. The whole world doesn’t need to know what you’re up to and you don’t need that pressure to succeed.

If you’ve had trouble keeping up with your goals in the past spend some quiet time reflecting on why you think you weren’t as successful and what you can control in the future to have a better outcome.
 
Additional Resources
I’ve put together this handy dandy Intention-Based Goal-Setting Worksheet to help you get some clarity around your goals for the new year.  Have fun with it and Have an Awesome New Year!

My Work-Life Balance Wake Up

This past week I spoke at a Career Accelerator Workshop for proposal management professionals on the topic of Work-Life Balance.

Confession: I was completely triggered by the topic and session title I was assigned – It’s a Marathon Not a Sprint: Work-Life Balance for the Long Haul

Why was I triggered?

I heard people talk about balance like it’s the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or an elusive unicorn waiting just beyond the horizon. There are tons of self-help books, podcasts, and classes about mastering it. Insert yoga class, meditation, essential oils, and kale and voila, we can achieve Work-Life Balance! Even with the best intentions, these positive practices last a week or two before the common stressors of life kick in like an unappreciative boss, sick kids, a computer glitch, etc that set us back into our self-destructive ways.

Why do I know this?

This is what I do for a living. I work with people to get motivated and de-stress. I’m known for helping people with burnout recovery and prevention.

The Real Reason

Because this is me. I SHOULD have it all together, but just like the shoemaker with no shoes, I am guilty of negative self-speak, lethargy, over-consumption of crap television and junk food (sour cream and onion chips!). I was in a daze of distraction of late nights binging on Netflix to self-assigned dead-end projects knowing they didn’t serve me or my business. I was spinning my wheels and I was aware that I wasn’t gaining traction. My energy sucked, I put on 15 lbs. and I couldn’t look on Instagram without hating myself and 98% of the people posting.

I’m not writing this as a reflective story from five years ago. This happened just a few weeks ago. I wrote my first book in August and got an amazing response and I thought naively that the momentum would continue and the next idea for a book would come rushing in. But it didn’t.

I then decided to make an ego-rocking decision to move from my amazing apartment in the sky with picture perfect views to a studio with 40% less space, no view and more quirks than I knew what to do with. I got rid of my furniture and non-essentials. I thought the less stuff and space would give me an opening to create. It didn’t. Instead I felt claustrophobic, isolated and paralyzed. My space didn’t make me feel successful. An ounce of clutter overwhelmed my sight line. A dirty dish became an impossible task. My bed became my home base where I spent more hours in then I want to admit.

Who was I to be giving advice on Work-Life Balance, when my world seemed to be merging into a blob of funk??

This was my real trigger. I felt like an impostor. How could I be the expert on balance when I was struggling to get myself out of bed? How could I inspire people to be confident in their own skin when I didn’t feel comfortable in my own?

It wasn’t until my grandmother’s funeral the week before Thanksgiving that it clicked. I had been focusing on what wasn’t there or what was lacking. My brain was on high alert pinpointing everything that wasn’t working. But there’s nothing like people who knew you when you had a snotty nose and were missing teeth.

My family that I hadn’t seen for 15+ years didn’t care that I wasn’t writing another book – they were happy I wrote the one I did and that it was dedicated to my grandma, Dolly. They didn’t care that I put on weight – they had nothing to compare it to. They were just happy to see me and to hear my stories honoring Dolly. They loved me because I showed up as me.

My heart filled up to a level I didn’t know I had been missing. I was open to receive and to listen to what I needed.

What was out of balance?

I was out of alignment with familial connection. I was so focused with creating, entertaining and managing other people, that I forgot about my own need for connection. I excused it away as people being busy, but I missed my family and my friends.

After returning home, I decided to get my shit together and park the pity train at the station. I signed up for a 4-week workout/meal plan challenge at the insistence of one of my clients (yes, even the coach can get coached!) and have stuck with it. I asked for help from my amazing neighbors who volunteered their space for me to work out of and store my over-sized furniture. I can now see my floor and access both windows in my 395-foot space. I started writing again – hence this blog post.

Most importantly I spoke to that room of proposal management professionals not as an uppity expert, but as a human being doing the best I could. Instead of reading slides and telling people what to do, I offered tools and encouraged them to trust themselves and listen to what their body and soul really needed.

See, it’s not about the perfect amount of time or energy that you spend at work and home, but about how you spend it. It’s an ongoing check-in with yourself about what’s working and what’s not. When you make it about your choice and your terms, you have the ability to reframe any situation or make new decisions that better serve you. When you take care of yourself first and foremost you can better support and take care of others around you!

Empathy: Why is This Soft Skill So Hard to Sustain?

Over the last week, I’ve given two talks about Empathy. I talk about this subject a lot with my clients, on my blog and on my podcast. On an objective level, we can understand the importance of being empathetic in our personal and professional life, but when stress and conflict arise, it’s not as easy to show up as our most empathetic self.

Even for someone like me who is trained to listen, acknowledge and validate people, I get triggered into being defensive more times than I like to admit it. So why do we keep falling back into combative patterns when we know how positive the outcomes are when we deploy empathy?

Let’s back it up and examine a typical conflict situation and the potential factors at play.

Conflict with your boss – It’s Friday night and you boss calls you into their office at 4:30 pm to discuss your performance on a project. You’re already exhausted from pulling four 15-hour days in a row to ensure you made the deadline for a client. Your boss informs you that there were some typos and the tone in your delivery wasn’t up to company standards. Your blood begins to boil. How dare they criticize you after everything you’ve done for them! Can’t they see how tired you are and now it’s not good enough. You start questioning your future with the company and your value as an employee.

In this situation we have multiple stressors at play. You’re exhausted. You’ve been working beyond your comfort zone. You were probably looking for positive acknowledgement and validation for all of your work and didn’t get it. You feel misunderstood and unappreciated. We also have your boss who has the stress of being responsible for financial bottom lines, performance and client satisfaction. We don’t know who talked to him before he talked to you.

What we have here are dual assumptions and a lack of listening. Both parties are consumed with being right and being heard that they can’t hear what’s behind the other person’s words.

When we’re tired and not taking care of ourselves, we’re in a stress perspective which makes it next to impossible to see anything outside of taking care of our safety and protection. In this case both parties are in self-preservation mode making a win-win opportunity impossible.

Have you ever had a situation like this? If so, what do you think you could’ve done differently to have a better outcome?

Relationship disconnect - You’ve had a long at work and are ready to call it a night. You made dinner for your partner and have changed into your comfy clothes. Your partner joins you on the couch and you start to share your day with them as they stare at their phone. In mid-sentence, your partner shows you their phone and starts talking about another topic. You lose your mind – completely offended and insulted by their lack of attention. You storm off only to return spouting of about another topic. Your partner is dumb-founded and confused wondering what just happened which only leads to more frustration from you.

In this situation you’re tired from your day and are seeking validation and comfort from your partner. When that doesn’t happen, you take it extremely personally and all of the pressurized worms in your can of frustration comes bursting out. It’s impossible to see or hear anything but what you’re feeling at that moment.

Sound familiar? (It unfortunately does for me.) The people closest to us become the easiest targets for us to unload on when what both parties really need is some empathy and patience. We assume the other person should be able to sense our frustration and read our minds for what we need, but in our stressful reaction, we don’t identify or communicate what we want or need. The distracted party doesn’t realize the magnitude of your potential mood shift and is distracted by their own day.

Even in times together, we operate independently and without empathy, we fail to connect and understand one another.

Family/Holiday conflict – It’s the day before Thanksgiving and you just drove five hours to get to your parents’ house. It should’ve taken two, but the day before Thanksgiving is a parking lot on the roads. You unload your car and enter the house expecting a warm greeting, warm meal and warm home. What you walk into is a deluge of orders being barked from the kitchen and living room simultaneously. Get this. Get that. Bring it here. What are you wearing? You look like you gained weight. Why are you so late? You swallow down your frustration and follow directions only to be told you didn’t cut the apples currently for the apple pie. You slam down the cutting board and bolt out of the door contemplating whether you should stay or go.

In this situation, you’re tired from working all day and sitting in traffic and want nothing more than to be taken care of. Your parents as the host of Thanksgiving have been cleaning and prepping all day and after last year’s political debate debacle, they’re on edge with anything that could trigger disaster.

You have two sides both wanting a similar outcome, but neither side getting what they need.

So what can we do to flex this important soft-skill muscle?

•       Be Objective – Remove your bias, opinions, and personal lens from others and the situation (Step out of your shoes and into others) How could the other person be feeling?

•       Be Curious – If you can’t pick up on other’s emotions, ask yourself how someone else could feel. What is important to them? What could they have experienced today that may have stressed them out?

•       Be Aware – What assumptions of yours are leaking in? What do you really need at that moment that you’re not paying attention to or communicating?

•       Be Patient – Our first impulse is usually reactive, but our first instinct is usually spot on. Examine your own stress level to see if your potential actions are impulse or instinct.

Empathy is a practice and just like Yoga, Kung Fu or basket weaving, we have to keep trying even when it feels challenging. The easiest immediate response based in stress usually has the most emotional clean-up afterwards. So take a breath, get out of your head, show up with compassion and empathy and ask for what you need.

I Suck at Sales and Social Media, What Do I Do? Stop Selling, Start Connecting

Last night was the July installment of The SpitFire Circle, a monthly meeting of small business owners who come together to share their experiences and learn from one another while being challenged to get to the root of their blocks to success. Every month the dynamic is slightly different with a shift in industries represented, from makers to photographers to writers to travel consultants, but one thing has remained true for the last six months, people hate selling!

Whether it’s online or in person, that cringe of icky creeps up in their gut and builds in their throat. You would think they were being tortured. For many it feels like that. The slimy tactics taught in seminars and best-selling books preach tactics like “creating urgency”, “building demand” and “always be closing” and they clearly do not fit for many entrepreneurs.

But with products to sell and bills to pay, they’ve got to make it work, but on their terms.

What If I Suck at Social Media?

Last night this topic came up in our discussion. “I know I suck at sales, but I have to do it” said one maker. “I especially despise selling on social media. I feel extremely disconnected and out of place.”

“So what do you love about your business?” I asked.

“I love making things and designing a product for a need.”

“So what if you could tell the story of your design and share the products with people who would love them and need them?”

“That would be great, but where do I find them?”

“That’s a great question, let’s look at who you’re designing for.”

After some deeper questions, we were able to identify that her customer was a lot like her – sensible, environmentally conscious, appreciated well-made and handmade goods, would spend money for a better product.

We continued the probing questions…

“So what accounts do you really like on Instagram?”

The list of accounts poured out like a coupon stream at CVS. (You know what I’m talking about.) She wrote them down.

“Ok. Now you know what they’re interested in. What if you reached out to a couple of people on those accounts you like and asked them to check your product out?”

“How do I do that? That seems really presumptuous and pushy.”

“It’s all in the tone. Imagine that there is this amazing product out there that you’ve never seen until one day you get a direct message from someone asking you to try it in exchange for posting about it. Does that seem pushy?”

“No. That sounds pretty awesome. I’d love to get free things.”

“This is relationship or influencer marketing. The idea is to build a relationship with people who you think will really love your product. Unlike other tactics where people pay money to post about their product, this is a true business to consumer relationship. Your goal is to connect and maintain the connection with the customer, so when you’ve got new products coming out, you know you can turn to them for some awesome feedback and potential promotion. How does that sound?”

“Awesome, but what do I say? What if they say no?”

“Start a conversation and ask if they’d be interested. If they say no or don’t respond, move on to the next. It’s a numbers game ultimately, so start with 5-7 accounts that you really dig and don’t take it personally.”

Transaction Complete… Now What?

You’ve made the sale as you’ve done so may times before, but then you never see them again.

“How do I keep people’s attention without being annoying?” asked a canine-focused entrepreneur.

“Define annoying.” I asked.

“Well sending multiple emails and salesy posts about products. That stuff gets old.”

“What would you want to hear from a brand you love?”

“Hmm I love fun contests where I can either get reposted or win product.”

“That’s a great place to start. What information are you looking in return from your customers who respond?”

“I want to know what they love about their dogs and why they use my product and not someone else’s so I can tweak the messaging or specifics of the product, but I feel weird asking it.”

“So what’s a more playful way to ask that in a contest-based format?”

“Hmm I could run a competition asking people ‘What do you love about your dog?’ or ‘What does your dog love about our product?’ or I could ask them to post pictures with them using their product with their dog.”

“That sounds awesome.”

Here we have an example of expanding your relationships to build trust while gathering necessary information to help you improve your product or service while providing value.

But what happens if you don’t get any responses?

Keep tweaking the messaging or build your audience. Either the content or the target is off, but the key is to keep trying. You may have a lot of “Nos” or crickets, but trust and believe in the awesomeness of yourself and your product.

About The SpitFire Circle

The SpitFire Circle is a monthly in person meet up in Southwest Washington, DC facilitated by Strategic Business Coach, Lauren LeMunyan. If you’d like more information or to attend, please visit www.spitfirecoach.com/group  (Online SpitFire Circles Coming Soon!)

Attention Entrepreneurs: Stop Your “Hustle”, “Grind” and “Struggle”

You may have a shirt or mug with a version of one of these phrases…

“Rise and Grind”

“The Hustle is Real”

“The Struggle is Necessary”

It’s become the mantra for entrepreneurs and new business owners. “I’ve gotta struggle, hustle and grind to make it” you think to yourself.

Really?! When did that become desirable or cool?

That’s the mindset you want to wake up to everyday? That’s your inspiration for leaving your cozy guaranteed paycheck with benefits and days off?

“Sleep is for the weak. I’ll sleep with I’m dead.”

Good luck with that. Sleep deprivation is the killer of your healthy, clarity and creativity. You know, those necessary elements needed to start and run a business.

“Entrepreneurship is risky. I’ve gotta throw everything I have at it.”

Yes, with anything there are risks, but before you go investing in online master classes, programs, software and virtual assistants, get yourself a plan. Sit down and think about what you want to accomplish. Well first make sure you get some sleep and are hydrated (self-care is paramount). Calculate your risks.

Get Real With Yourself.

What are you willing to lose financially, energetically, logistically? How much time do you currently have to spare? What is reasonable to accomplish with that time? Can you stay in your current position while you build your dream?

What’s Your Urgency Really About?

Anytime I hear people talk about their business with any of those three words, it’s a red flag. This can be about proving to others that you’re a success, challenging the naysayers, or providing for your family. The common theme — these are all externally charged, which makes you more prone to burn out and a short fuse of patience.

“Well I didn’t mean those words like that.”

Words are powerful and also provide clues to inner dialogues. I suggest you explore your own internal conversation about what being an entrepreneur is really about. It’s not glamorous, but no where is it written that you can’t enjoy yourself, have a balanced life or have fun. If you want to chase those millions and billions, go for it, but first ask yourself why. Why is that figure or target so important? How will it change things in your life? What small steps can you take today towards living your most fulfilling life?

“Do you not like money or something?”

Oh I love money! I love saving it, investing it and earning it. I know it flows and comes in when I’m in my most powerful state. When I stop worrying what everyone thinks or where the next check is going to come from, I take the necessary steps to attract in awesome opportunities.

The next time you think about your finances — do you want to grind, hustle or struggle? Choose your words carefully. They have more power than you think.

The 13 Most Common Entrepreneurial Pitfalls: Source, Symptoms and Remedies

It seems that everyone on Instagram is an Entrepreneur or CEO. What used to be a high risk and scary choice, has now been glamorized into fast money, luxurious lifestyles, and ready-set-go businesses.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but the stories behind the glossy pictures are anything but fancy. I know the true stories of self-doubt, self-sabotage, and business burnout.

Over the years I’ve seen the same 13 challenges and entrepreneurial pitfalls in myself, my clients, and other entrepreneurs:

1. Not Having a Clear Focus/Mission

2. Trying to Be All Things to All People

3. Lack of Revenue Diversity — Relying on One Client

4. Imposter Syndrome

5. DIYitis

6. Isolation

7. Burning the Candle at Both Ends/Lack of Self-care

8. Taking it Personal and Not Making it About the Client/Customer

9. Not Going All In/ Not Showing Up at 100%

10. Not Charging the Appropriate Amount (usually too little)

11. Investing in Tactics and Not Youself or Business

12. Not Taking/Accepting Help

13. Expecting Success to Come Easy with Minimal Effort

But how do we overcome these challenges and entrepreneurial pitfalls?

We start a new conversation.
We get honest
We get real and we get to the root of the issue.
Simple right? Now go do it!

It would be unfair to leave you with a list and a simple three-sentence plan.

In the next section, we’re going to dive into the source, symptoms, and remedy for each pitfall. Before we get going, I suggest writing down, the numbers of your pitfalls. Don’t be afraid… I deal with and have dealt with all 13!

1. Not Having a Clear Focus/Mission

Source: Information overload. The entrepreneur starts with an initial excitement and idea to follow and then, like Pac Man, starts gobbling up all the ideas. With a lack of organization and filtration device, the ideas get muddied. What once started as vibrant colors and ideas have now mixed into a glob of muck.

Symptoms: Squirrely focus. Distracted easily. Persuaded easily by others. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. Frazzled. “Yes” to all the things.

Remedy: Stop. It’s time to go back to square one before the business was ever in motion. What was the core idea or inspiration? What about it excited and motivated you? This is where your new mission and focus will be developed. If you are still unclear, reach out to trusted advisors or a business coach for clarity. This will be uncomfortable at the start but stick with it until you feel a focused energy.

2. Trying to Be All Things to All People

Source: People pleasing tendencies. Not wanting to disappoint people by saying no. Desire to be “The Nice Girl or Guy.” Seeking of Likeability.

Symptoms: Burnout. Overloaded schedule. Triple bookings.  Feeling of being taken advantage of. Plays roles that don’t suit skillset. Feeling of being helpful, but helpless. May suffer from reoccurring colds or illness.

Remedy: The Triple D Method to Time Management. All decisions will be based on the following three criteria:

• Doability: Can it be done with the current resources (time, skill, and manpower) as requested? If no, see “Delegatability.” If yes, see “Desirability.”

• Desirability: Does this feel like a treat or punishment? If it’s a treat, get it done! If it’s a punishment, see “Delegability” or use the power of “No.”

• Delegatability: Can this task realistically be performed by someone other than you? If yes, delegate away. If no, and it failed the “Desirability” and “Doability,” that’s a “Triple D Fail.”

You are only to say yes if it’s a “Triple D Success.”

3. Lack of Revenue Diversity — Relying on One Client

Source: Security. High Levels of Trust. Single Focus.

Symptoms: Scarcity mentality. Anxiety around outside factor. Worry around when the well will dry up. All or nothing mentality. Increased stress. Lack of sleep. Weight gain/Weight loss related to stress.

Remedy: Business Development. Who are the next 3-5 organizations/clients that would benefit from your services? It’s time to pick up the phone or write some emails. If a client is responsible for more than 40% of your revenue, it’s time to diversify. It’s easier to make up 40% than 100%.

4. Imposter Syndrome

Source: Lack of confidence. Self-doubt. Limiting beliefs around being qualified/verified. Past examples of failure, being unsure, witnessing failure in others.

Symptoms: Self-sabotage. Not showing up as an expert or thought leader. Playing small. Selling self-short.

Remedy: Create Your Credentials. Just like in school you had to pass a core curriculum, now is your chance. Write down a list of the credentials you need to be a qualified entrepreneur. Seriously. Don’t make it about anyone else. What do you need to learn, experience, gain expertise in, connect to? Create a 101, 201, 301 and 401 syllabi and go from there. After you’ve accomplished your course load, you get to graduate! Yes, you need a ceremony, cap, gown, and diploma!

5. DIYitis

Source: Lack of trust. Past disappointment. My-way-is-the-only-way mindset.

Symptoms: Overwhelm. Overload. Burnout. Distrust. Micromanaging others. Taking back control after delegating. Not outsourcing when appropriate. Slowing down progress. Project stall out.

Remedy: Recruit a Trusted Partner. Whether it’s a colleague or coach, you need someone who has your back and will give you honest feedback and input. You can’t do it all and you shouldn’t have to. What do you need support with? What can you easily move off your plate? Start small and work to build trust with others. If you assume everyone will burn you, you’re probably attracting in people who will. What if you could set your sites on someone who will be truthful and direct with you? Even if you don’t like what they have to say, at least you know where they stand. And how awesome would it be to move things off your plate and focus on your strengths?!

6. Isolation

Source: Fear of rejection. Desire to focus inwards. Introversion.

Symptoms: Refuses social invitations. Lack of networking and connection with others. (See DIYitis). Rejection of idea sharing and brainstorming.

Remedy: Exposure. Sign up for a Meet-Up group or networking event. Call a friend or two. Meet a colleague or client for coffee. Get a shower, get dressed and get out there. Your home office funk is seeping into your pores, it’s time to fresh up your body, mind, and brain!

7. Burning the Candle at Both Ends and Lack of Self-care

Source: Assumption of Machine-Like Abilities. False Sense of Unlimited Energy.

Symptoms: At its most extreme level, illness and burnout. Initially, it is shown as an unstoppable force. Others envy their unstoppable abilities that seem like the Energizer Bunny. For outsiders, they keep going and going without sleep. Without necessary care and recharge, they undoubtedly crash.

Remedy: Sleep (7 hours+), Meditation (5-10 minutes per day), Walking outdoors, Yoga, Nutritious food. If you’re familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, these are at the foundation. If you want to run efficiently like a machine, you’ve gotta keep it fueled and serviced.

8. Taking it Personal and Not Making it About the Client

Source: Fear of being wrong. Fear of failure. Scarcity mentality. Over-personification with business.

Symptoms: By only focusing on one opinion, the entrepreneur is either all right or all wrong. There is no gray area. With a personal single focus, decisions are made on emotional impulse and reaction. Feelings of disconnection and rejection. Internalization of rejection. Judgment. Energy sinks with each rejection.

Remedy: Objectification. You are not the business and the business is not you. Your business is your product/service for clients/customers. By focusing on the needs of those purchasing your goods and services, you can make comprehensive, data-driven and objective decisions. Each failure and success may be a result of your decision, but it does not define who you are.

9. Not Going All In or Not Showing Up at 100%

Source: (See Imposter Syndrome) Lack of confidence. Fear of failure. Fear of success.

Symptoms: Hesitation. Underselling expertise. Lack of risk taking. Unconfident body language. Fidgeting and lack of focus in conversation.

Remedy: (See Imposter Syndrome Remedies) Get to Your Why. It goes back to your why? Why are you an entrepreneur? Why are you taking some safe risks, but not the necessary ones to grow? What are you really afraid of?

10. Not Charging the Appropriate Amount

Source: Fear of rejection. Getting into Client’s Story. Assumption of Value. Interpretation of Lower Value. Lack of Confidence.

Symptoms: Stating prices and then quoting lower. Assuming client doesn’t want to or can’t pay prices. Afraid of people saying no. Consistently take money off of the table before the negotiation has begun. Acknowledges they could be making more, but find it hard to ask.

Remedy: Set Your Prices, Value, and Rationale. This is where you let the facts run the show. Do your research, how much are your competitors charging and what is an appropriate rate? What value do you bring to the table (see your credibility exercise in Imposter Syndrome)? Now write down your rationale for each price. This is your new internal and external script. Until you know it by heart and believe it, you depend on it.

11. Investing in Tactics and Not Yourself or Business

Source: Belief in the Magical Pill. Immediate Gratification. Avoidance of Discomfort. Lack of Focus or a Plan.

Symptoms: Multiple purchases of “Get Rich Quick” or “Learn this Tactic” program, but fails to full implement or see results. Thousands of dollars have been spent, but not invested. Uses language like “If only I…” or “When this gets done, then I’ll be successful.” Frustration at lack of results. Blames others for lack of success.

Remedy: The Mirror. What is it that you’re avoiding that you’ve been needing to do in your business? What are you not taking care of within yourself or relationships? The issues we see in our business are a direct reflection of what we’re not managing internally. Take a deep hard look in the mirror and start asking for help.

12. Not Taking or Accepting Help

Source: (See DIYitis) Lack of trust. Fear of burdening others. Fear of disappointing others.

Symptoms: Overwhelmed. Low energy. Dejected. Feeling like a failure.

Remedy: Stock Your Shelves. Just like in a supermarket, you’re going to do an inventory check. What are you feeling low or out of supply in? Motivation, support, a hug? Note what you need and then look at your supplies. Who around you can support you in restocking your shelves? Reach out and ask for exactly what you need. I guarantee you’ve got a long line of people ready to help you!

13. Expecting Success to Come Easy with Minimal Effort

Source: Instagram-Insta-Success Stories. Comparison. Instant Gratification.

Symptoms: Lack of patience. Frustration at delays. Anger. Dejectedness. Impulsive decision making. Quick-fix program purchases.        

Remedy: Build Your Blueprint. What does success look like for you? How long will it really take to get there? What resources do you need to support it? What daily, weekly, monthly tasks do you need to support it? What’s your contingency plan if it doesn’t work out?

The Key to Successfully Overcoming Entrepreneurial Pitfalls

The key is to think on a longer timeline. You may have daily wins and challenges, but your business will hopefully have a longer shelf-life than 2 weeks. Patience is the key.

If you have overnight success, the bar gets set even higher next time and the chances of disappointment are even greater. Start smaller and build from there. Consistency, patience, and follow through are your best friends.

It’s not sexy, but neither is losing everything and living on your mom’s couch.

100 Days of Blogging: 7 Lessons Learned

The Tuesday after Labor Day, my boyfriend left for Barcelona for a week with his mom on their annual vacation. After getting over the initial funk of being left behind, I decided to take advantage of this new found free time.

It had been over a year since I wrote with real substance. I was on my way to finishing two books when it all came crashing down. A personal story I shared with a family member was passed along to other family members and blew up in my face. In retrospect, I was sharing my diary and that wasn't meant for anyone else's consumption. I always loved to write - even term papers in school. I would love to feel the slight resistance of the keys under my finger tips and got giddy watching the screen fill with words. I missed my old friend.

With a relatively open calendar, I decided to embark on a long-term challenge - write every day. What started as a 30-Day Blog Challenge quickly evolved into 100 days. People thought I was crazy or that I would quit. Like most people I lost interest pretty quickly in challenges, but this was different. This was an opportunity to spark my creativity, increase my accountability and share my thoughts and opinions.

I wrote about relationships, business, life hacks, time management and my dog. Whatever I was passionate about at the moment, I wrote it down. My workouts and walks soon became opportunities to brainstorm new topics. My friends and clients inspired advice-based posts. I saw the world and myself in a new way. I became a writer.

I can now say that my writer's block is resolved and I've created two e-books as a result of the blog with more on the way. I am comfortable in front of a keyboard and love writing again!

Here are the Blog Stats By the Numbers:

Total Word Count Over 100 days: 37,999 words (damn it, I just needed one more word for 38,000!)

Average Word Count Per Post: 379 words

Longest Blog: 977 words (http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/10-things-you-should-and-shouldnt-do-when-starting-a-business?rq=should%20and%20shouldn%27t)

Shortest Blog: 169 words (http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/6wzyipmv9tpwbp1ms05hqsq5mt71m3)

My Favorite Blog: http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/6wzyipmv9tpwbp1ms05hqsq5mt71m3

Most Read Blog: http://laurenlemunyan.com/30dayblog/=/10-things-you-should-and-shouldnt-do-when-starting-a-business?rq=should%20and%20shouldn%27t

This wasn't all fun and self-realization. I learned some hard lessons along the way. 

Lessons Learned

1)      Proofread Before Posting. My mind works faster than my fingers and at times I skip over words and “ings” or “ed.” I'm pretty sure each post had at least two errors in it, which my mom was happy to point out. I've since tried to go back through and fix the glaring errors. When posting every day, time is of the essence and in my opinion it doesn't need to be perfect to be done.

2)      I’m human. I make mistakes and if you judge me based on my spelling or grammatical errors, I challenge you to a 100-Day Blog Duel! Do you accept?? In all seriousness, human error is a real thing. I've learned to be more patient and less judgmental when I see errors in other people's work.

3)      Doing Something Every Day Can Be A Challenge, But Anything is Possible. Even with workouts and diet, I was never on every day. I actually thought I may have to skip a day or two, but fortunately I could plan out my week to schedule a post or two if I knew I was going to be busy. I love a good contingency plan! This was no exception.

4)      Not Everyone Cares That You’re Writing a Blog. Blogs are like opinions and podcasts (I have one of those too!), everyone has them and some are more in your face than others. It’s up to you what you decide to spend your time on. I hope I provided value, if not, then entertainment. On the same note, don't get wrapped up into the visits or reads of your post. I got more excited hearing from the one person who read a post and learned from it than the 200 people who read and said nothing.

5)      I Say I Won’t Do This Again, But We All Know It’s a Lie. This was a huge undertaking and I’m pretty tapped out from writing. I’ll take a break and reassess where I want to use my time and energy in the future. (2 Months Later.... I'm back at writing, but not as a daily practice or challenge.)

6)      Not Every Post is My Favorite, But They’re Mine. I guess blogging is like having a lot of kids. Some are cuter than others. Some help you. Some are jerks. Some you wish never happened, but they all come from you and for that you love them! (Can you tell I’m not a parent?) 

7)      I’m Capable of More Than I Think. Yes, I pushed myself and maxed out my energy. This was a challenge to break out of my judgment and restraint around writing. That has certainly been busted into a million pieces. I am a writer. I am a blogger. I am a coach. I am awesome.

I can’t believe this challenge is over. It’s bittersweet, which sounds so cliché. It’s been my weekend writing ritual and my morning posting routine. It’s been my outlet of expression and door to connect with others. It allowed me to take risks and say what was on my mind. It also left me wide open to judgment and criticism. It was a constant reminder to stay on my path, but also served as a distraction to other important aspects like self-care and focusing on core business practices.

It’s been a journey and I’m happy I took the first step. So here’s a giant high-five to me!

My 2018 Business Goals

Earlier today I designed a graphic for a client representing her dream life in 10 years. She's a public figure and wants to expand her reach into the media world. I immediately thought of designing her a magazine cover. It was awesome (she thought so too!). I sent it over and wondered why I hadn't done it for myself.

Like most inspirational tools I design, they are inspired by my clients. I actually really love developing visual tools to help them see their progress, goals, and ideal images. I've created an Ideal Leader, Ideal Client, Life Map, Value Compass and now 10-Year Dream Board Image.

So I designed myself one for 2018 with my goals. I'm going big, because why the hell not?! I'm big on setting intentions and sharing it with others. So if you're reading this and you want to be a part of me making big moves in 2018, you can get started in 2017!

Here is the image.

2018 Goals

1. Make it on a magazine cover

2. Known as "Spitting Some Fire" in my "Super Fucking Magical Coaching" and hosting "The SpitFire Podcast"

3. 25+ Paid Speaking Gigs

4. 15 Active Clients Per Month

5. 2 Published Books

6. The SpitFire Podcast is killing it in downloads and sponsorship

7. Ongoing referrals for Confidence and Leadership Training for Existing and Emerging CEOs

8. I live by the motto "If It's Not Fun, Why Do It?!

9. I am a catalyst of positive change

10. I help people take care of themselves, so they can take care of business.

11. Quadruple 2017 Revenue

Before 2018 is here, I'd love to see your goals. Feel free to post them in the comment section or email it to me lauren@laurenlemunyan.com

Three Questions That Will Change Your Life

Are you ready to find the holy grail of question asking to know what you should do? Yes? Are You Sure?

Hehe those were three questions, but not the questions that will change your life.

As a coach, we are trained to have a tool box of tactics and engaging questions to get our clients to think beyond the known and go to the untapped vault of creativity and imagination. We guide people through the self-imposed and externally position stress and judgment to open their eyes to what could be possible.

See if what you were doing was working for you, you wouldn’t be reading this blog and you probably wouldn’t be seeking external expertise (P.S. You’re super smart for doing that. The most awesome, smartest people in the world have coaches). So I’m going to key you into the most awesome grouping of questions to get your future-self-brainpower going.

Ready?

You sure? Because things aren’t that bad. You know what to expect. You know what’s going to happen and how you need to show up to get a desired outcome. It’s safe there.

What’s that? You don’t want to be the same? You don’t want to keep being small? You’re ready to live large and all out?

Okay! You’re ready!

Here are the questions:

1)      What Do You Want?

2)      Why Do You Want It?

3)      What Would Be Different If You Had It?

 Ta-daaaaaaaa!

Answer those questions and make it happen. It’s that easy! If it’s not doable, you most likely have some blocks to success called GAILs (Gremlins, Assumptions, Interpretations, and Limiting Beliefs). These guys are within all of us and with the proper coping strategies and tactics to leverage them, you too can have the life you dreamed of!

My Boss is Being a Jerk. What Do I Do to Not Lose My Shit?

My Boss is Being a Jerk. What Do I Do to Not Lose My Shit?

That was the text message I received from a client minutes ago.  Her boss is notorious for pushing her buttons and triggering a stress reaction. This is what I said to her.

Step 1: Walk away calmly

Step 2: Get some water and take slow sips

Step 3: Get outside and walk while taking deep breaths

Step 4: Imaging him as a cartoon

It seemed to do the trick, so now I’m passing it along.

Internal Pressure

It’s Sunday morning and DC just got its first snow of the season. This should be the perfect time to write some pithy and epic, but it’s not. Instead, I’m looking at a monster of a “To Do” list that has been growing by the minute.

My mom came into town on Thursday morning and I should’ve been able to unplug and turn off the nagging projects and errands I needed to run, but I didn’t. I didn’t even write down what I needed to do – resulting in the swirling of anxiety, worry and frustration that I wouldn’t have enough time to get everything done.

With the approaching end of the 100-Day Blog Challenge, I couldn’t give up with less than a week to go, that would be insane. Or would it be brilliant?

That thought alone gave me permission to walk away if I wanted to. I don’t want to by the way. That idea gave me pause and opened up another door to examine other commitments, projects and obligations that I thought I had to do.

As a result of the reflection, I decided to shift my energy from a group coaching program to a targeted one-on-one program to get people inspired and organized to start a business. I also decided to scrap another group program I had scheduled for January.

I realized I needed to minimize my obligations and priorities what was important.

What’s important to me is:

1)      Rest – My sleep pattern has sucked. My self-imposed pressure has created a shit show in my head when it’s time to decompress and recharge.

2)      Keeping My Word – I mean what I say and I say what I mean. I offer when I can and have the available time and resources.

3)      Being Present – When I’m with friends and clients, I’m there. No phone, computer or internal story distractions.

4)      Creating – Whether it’s art, writing, podcasting or putting an outfit together, I love when the mojo flows.

In writing this blog, I’ve lessened the pressure a bit (it still hangs out a bit) and have the energy to create and design my next moves.